Heaven's BBS | Anonymous | Text

[spes_phthisica]

so uh
i have seen certain kinds of relationships between gods and shinki argued for or against and all that
but this isnt really about that

what i want to know is more
what are you supposed to do as a shinki if you cant help having certain feelings for your god
and you KNOW that your god knows about this?

i mean its hard to avoid if you keep stinging your god every time you look at them in a certain way
right???

my god doesnt seem angry about it or anything
actually they seem to think its fun
and you think they could show a bit of compassion and wear a bit more clothes around the temple but nooooo

im just wondering what im supposed to do about this
its getting embarrassing :(

Comments

let him rest

[spes_phthisica]

well
maybe he just thinks its fun
thats not the same as wanting something like that
i dont think i should make assumptions about how my god feels

[mermaiding]

Are stupid. [SIGH.]

Just kiss him. Climb into bed, take off clothes--if he does not want it, he will say so and you will have answer. If he does, you get to have sex.

There is no losing here.

[spes_phthisica]

except if he does not want it that means i will be naked in his bed looking like an idiot
i dont wish to humiliate myself in front of him
how can i be his exemplar if hes seen me lose face in such a manner

[mermaiding]

Then start with just kiss. If relationship is damaged because of embarrassing moment, than relationship is weak. Should leave, then, if you do not trust it to stand up against such tiny thing.

[It's said loftily and dismissively, Oona waving a hand.]

[spes_phthisica]

[Hold on, let him recover from thinking about kissing Hijikata and then suffering an immediate BSOD. He's a mess, okay?]

i know what you mean
and its not like i dont want him
i guess i am just really afraid of disappointing him
i dont want to make myself the weak part of the relationship i guess

its pretty dumb huh

[mermaiding]

[Her expression softens immediately into something akin to a 'oh honey' look.]

...No. Is not dumb. Is normal, to be worried or afraid. Change is scary, yes. [As dismissive and flippant as she's been about it, she does get it.] Want things to change, but are happy the way they are, but not so happy as to not want change too, yes? [Her situation hadn't been nearly as, well, inconsequential, but she'd felt similar in the days leading up to her escape. She'd wanted it, but she'd been afraid, too, because she'd gotten used to her existence then.

It's not the same situation at all, but she does sort of get it.]

If you are close, if he is good, eh... god-thing, than you will not disappoint him with action. Lack of action, maybe. [She shrugs. She doesn't know either of the people in this situation, but she knows what sounds good and she tries not to lie, so.] Is better to be sure. Is scary, but things staying same forever is scarier, I think.

[spes_phthisica]

yes
exactly like that
thank you for being so understanding
even if you speak a bit rudely you seem really sweet honestly <3

he really is a good god
a good man
and i know that he would not wish me to be cowardly
or to silence myself for his sake

[mermaiding]

[She looks a little baffled, like she's not sure if she should be insulted or not] Rude! Am not rude. Am honest! I do not tell lies. [And that honesty is done bluntly and rudely, oona, shut up.

She huffs and pouts, but she's pleased nonetheless.] Good. It is easier to say than to do, but now that you have said it, will make it hard to ignore doing it. [She nods and glances off at nothing in particular, twisting her hair around her fingers]

Little good in world. Love is one. So, should always try to enjoy it when have it. Do not let it slip.