thefarshore | (no subject)

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Posted: May 6th, Morning.
From: Anonymous (he's trying!).

This is for all shinki:

What do ye do about a stubborn, sometimes reckless, selfless god? I wanna help them, but every time I try, I'm not sure they appreciate it.

I feel like I'm angering them an' I don't want to.

[This is his way of asking for help. He really did try to mask his sometimes outdated and awkward spelling/phrasing, though it seems to shine through nonetheless. ~~Please don't kill him, Shun!~~]

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[It's almost the opposite of mad, how Shun looks right now - though he's calm as ever, there's a certain air about him that says he's as wrong-footed by this situation as he assumes Joker is. Though he recognises well enough that he's been trouble for his comrades before, generally there was only one of them brave enough to approach him about it, and that didn't tend to require much talk on Shun's part. So his idea of how to navigate a situation like this is more than a little underdeveloped.

Though it's probably not the source of the problem here, there's something about that explanation that doesn't entirely sit correctly with Shun, and it takes him a second to figure out exactly what.]

Friends talk about things like this. If you were so worried about approaching me that you had to ask for advice without a name attached, then I have to ask if you're considering me more as your god than your friend.

[The question is a good one and it silences him while he gives it the thought it deserves. To him, Shun is both a friend and a god. Shun can do things that Joker could never imagine in his wildest dreams, but, despite that, Joker sees him as wholly human. A remarkable human, then. When he thinks of gods, they seem...

Distant. He could never empathize with them, really.]

Ye amaze me, I won't lie about that. But you're my friend more than my god. I wouldn't understand a god an' they wouldn't be as...human...as you.

[Which means, he owes Shun an apology.]

I acted rashly. I'm sorry.

[That's some reassurance, at least, and Shun inclines his head in acceptance of that way of looking at it. Though he hasn't really used the term himself yet, at this point, it's difficult not to consider Joker a friend as well.

Shun's mouth twitches a little at the apology - however genuine, he still finds them unnecessary - but he doesn't turn it down so much as he normally would, and when he replies, his tone is measured.]

I don't really see the point in apologies, but if we're talking about errors, I want to make myself clear. Before you arrived, when I had that soulless shinki who did nothing but fall to my every order, I had a lot of time to think about the kind of shinki I'd be comfortable with. Someone who would fight alongside me, not under me. Someone who would question my judgement, and still be there the times I ignored that questioning. I wanted an equal, not a weapon.

[It's much easier to be sincere when he's already on a roll, and there's only the briefest break in his speech before he goes on, utter confidence in his tone.] I don't want you to leave this conversation thinking you haven't lived up to that, because you have. More than I could have hoped for.

[The way Shun thinks is...new to Joker. He couldn't say why it's new - damn near everything feels new as it is - but this is refreshingly new. The difference leaves him stunned and speechless and his lips too twitch, almost smiling, and there is a definite flush on his cheeks.]

Shun, I - [This acceptance; this appreciation strike him in the heart.] I prefer ta be equals. I didn't wanna assume considerin' the layout of gods and shinkis, but ye never struck me as someone who would lord over someone. I guess that's why I like thee so much.

I'm not scared of fightin' an' if you deem a cause worth a fight, I will too. [No question. No hesitation. When Joker gives his all, he gives everything.]

[That part, at least, is good to hear, and Shun gives a satisfied nod to that answer. He hopes that the desire to be equal means that Joker won't prioritise Shun's own causes over any he might have, but at least they seem to be getting onto the same page now.

Still, since his behaviour yesterday was also up for discussion, he figures he should explain that part too. Joker's not the first to have brought it up, and he crosses his arms as he considers how to put it in a manner that doesn't exclude him again.]

...As for you worrying about me. It's not that I don't care what you think or don't care about myself, but I'm used to being the one who takes on that burden for others. Having someone do it to me is something that's still new, and this is actually the second time I've had this conversation with someone this week. If it's really distracting you all that much, I'll work on it, but I'll need time.

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