Heaven's BBS | text

[slantedcross]

Posted: May 2
From: Hedone


I have a sneaking suspicion I could find the answer to this by going through the archives, but let's give me the benefit of the doubt and say I want to be as accurate as possible and allow for new people's responses, or else opinions evolving over time... any shinki out there who wish they were gods? Or the reverse, gods who wish they were shinki? Why do you think you got the better and/or worse deal?

Devil's advocates welcome; I may indulge in it a bit myself.

Comments

[papas_bunnydoll]

Tot would rather be herself.

[slantedcross]

[But who is herself? After what that bastard did to Asuka--]

Can you only be yourself as a god, though?

[papas_bunnydoll]

[Her damage goes a bit further than anything Masafumi did to her. Be glad you don't know the whole story Youji.]

Of course not. Tot is Tot just like other people are still them without their memories.

[At least she hopes so.]

[slantedcross]

So it doesn't matter to you, one way or the other? You can just make a place for yourself and be happy?

[papas_bunnydoll]

Tot would be sad if she forgot Papa and Schreient, but then she wouldn't remember them so she wouldn't be sad, right? So why wouldn't she be happy? Unless someone was mean to her.

[slantedcross]

This made the most sense of anything I've read today, thank you. You articulated it a lot better than I did elsewhere.

[papas_bunnydoll]

[She hopes that's the way it works in any case, considering she'd be upset for Nagi and Ken who both seem to be okay with who they are now. Okay, so she'd be more upset for Nagi since she knows some of what he's missing.

Also, really? She's kind of surprised by that, but then some people just overthink things. She doesn't need to.]

You're welcome!

[slantedcross]

[Damn, why does that hurt, coming from her?]

Was it a hard conclusion to come to, or was it an immediate reaction?

[papas_bunnydoll]

[What's the matter Youji? Feeling guilty for some reason?]

No. It just seems that way for the ones Tot's talked to.

That and Tot knew someone before. It's sad that he doesn't remember Tot, but he's not. So maybe it's okay. We can be friends again.

[slantedcross]

[No comment. That is absolutely true but no comment.

He'd normally guess if she was talking about a boyfriend, but that seems cruel when he knows it for a fact-- and knows just far that love ran. She appreciated it before, but maybe... Maybe the clarity is sharper now that it's gone.]

Same, actually. It's stupid, too. I was thinking not too long ago, I wouldn't mind being rid of him, but now that I have the perfect excuse, I don't want it. I just miss him.

[look, if you can't talk about your feelings with a teenage girl, who can you talk to? her raw sincerity makes him want to... Reward it, somehow.]

[papas_bunnydoll]

Did he want to be rid of you as well?

[slantedcross]

No. He was never that smart.

[papas_bunnydoll]

Maybe he liked you more than you liked him.

[slantedcross]

He definitely acted that way.

[papas_bunnydoll]

If you miss him that much you should try and be friends again!

[slantedcross]

[...he feels like a vampire who's being invited in--]

I've thought about it, but it's a hard thing to bring up in conversation.

[papas_bunnydoll]

You don't have to ask to be friends, you just do it.

[slantedcross]

Uh-huh.

I'd have to find him, first.

[papas_bunnydoll]

Tot can help you look for him.

[She's already looking out for assholes for Sanzo to shoot.]

What's his name?

[slantedcross]

[Well, Sanzo already thinks Youji is a shithead... potential for overlap there... once she finds out which shinki he's talking about...]

You're sweet to offer. [On the list of things he never thought he'd say...]

I think I have it covered. It'll take effort, but it won't be hard.

[papas_bunnydoll]

[Surely there are lots of people who think Youji is a shithead not just Sanzo.]

Okay.

Good luck getting your friend back.