thefarshore | HEAVEN'S BBS

[He keeps his hands stuffed in his pockets as Jae-Ha descends, nodding politely while his telepathy tracks in on the young man.

That's now the second person to think of how flashy he is. He guesses his fashion isn't so out of style after all.]

Curious is the right word - but no, I haven't.

[He smiles proudly.]

I'm a God, you see. So I have an interest in knowing how the shinki feel as their memories are getting regained.

[Which is true. He'd rather some other poor schmuck go Ayakashi than Nagi.]

Is that so?

[He could easily hand out the names that are fresh on his mind, but he's just a little cautious giving out information on anyone else in an already worrying situation. So, he'll err on the side of caution and start with himself.]

Well, you're welcome to begin with me. Should we sit here? [On the ground, why not.

His thoughts are already clear. Emotions are the main issue, even if he's held them back enough that he's not making his own god feel too horrible. The memory is a bunch of child abuse, the fact that he and his predecessor were viewed as monsters by the village and anyone else, that they were trapped there, essentially. And so of course he feels a lot of emotions about that. Sadness, pity, a desire to be free and live. There's also the feelings around it, like how he wants to know more, but he's afraid of hurting Hazel (his god) or becoming an ayakashi... And so on. His thoughts are actually incredibly noisy, despite the calm smile on his face.]

[His methods of finding out more information than he's being told are best utilized during conversations anyway - because the automatic answers that people think about, but then don't immediately tell him, are sometimes the most valuable.]

Starting with you is fine, although I did come by because you didn't want to mention names in a public venue.

[He sits down anyway - crosslegged because he never totally took to any of the cultures he walked through.

The thoughts themselves interest him more, finding and detangling that web of emotions inside the memory versus surrounding it, the people who were part of the memory versus thought about with the memory being revealed like Hazel, all of that. Most people's thoughts were that cluttered and he prided himself on tracking down the threads. If anything, he appreciates that the calm charm is something of a facade - that there's serious concerns like becoming an ayakashi tell him this is no airhead he's dealing with, like he'd originally thought.]

Don't worry! I haven't forgotten. It would be rude of me to offer someone's information before at least offering my own.

[He's far from an airhead. He thinks it's weird that someone would want to meet with him so immediately, and he notices that Schuldig is being oddly patient for a man who called him out here to get answers. It's not that he knows anything close to what's actually happening here, but even if he foolishly agrees to meet with strangers, it's not because he doesn't pay attention. It seems he's more just curious himself.

He sits down, crossing his own legs as well.]

Well, to start, it's a bit frightening, when all shinki hear is that if they recall their memories it's bad for them. [A bit frightening is an understatement, if the wave of actual fear underlying that isn't clear enough.] Aside from that, I'm not sure where to start. You can always ask me questions.

[It's a fine balance, being eager to learn as much as he can from people and not tipping them off too early as to his motives or his powers. Sometimes that means pretending he's way more understanding and patient than he has any right to be.

It's a close proximity like this that allows him to feel the fear caused by that statement. Understatement is impossibly common with people, he finds. It seems that hasn't changed when these people became shinki.]

Let's see...

[Prompting isn't a bad idea, he supposes, if he wants to learn more about what Nagi's going through. He adopts a softer expression as best he can - as much 'sympathetic' as he gets, mixed with curiosity. He's also asking questions he wouldn't of Nagi, for fear of upsetting him too much to send him over the edge this early in his shinki awareness.]

I suppose, if you think back on the memory... are you sure it's from your own perspective, and not from a 3rd party's perspective? Like it was being filmed? If you can't remember your own life - how are you sure these memories are real?

It's certainly not from anyone else's perspective. The memory began with me and only one other person, and I remember looking through my eyes at him.

[Even if he doesn't hesitate in answering, he still thinks back to picture it. He remembers sleeping and being woken by the beating, and he recognized his own feelings in every motion and word so much that of course he knew it was him. The chains, the treatment, the suffering of anyone with the name Green Dragon— it all added up to how he acted now.]

It's a bit difficult to explain, but you can rest assured that I know it was certainly my memory.

I see.

[He reviews the memory alongside Jae-Ha, and so knows he's telling the truth about it. Well, his own truth anyway. He smiles calmly before explaining.]

You'll have to forgive me if I say that, while I appreciate your earnestness, I can't exactly take you at your word. What I mean is, you may sincerely feel that way - I can sense that you do, wholeheartedly. However, what I am investigating is precisely that - the divide between your sincere feelings and how things really are. We Gods have no idea if some else is manipulating these dreaming memories you wake up aware of.

I can't blame you for that, but I'm positive that's not the case.

[One of his hands trails lightly over his own right leg as he thinks, and he makes it more natural by pulling that leg up a little to change how he's sitting.] There's a unique circumstance I can't go into that's explained a bit more in what I remember. They might be able to manipulate my memories, but they can't manipulate my feelings.

[The other dragons, his bond with them... And his feelings on his predecessor. They all match up.] It all matches up, whether you'd like to believe that or not.

[He thinks about it some more as Jae-Ha reviews the evidence again.]

I see, that's unfortunate.

[Even though he's pretty sure he can piece together something about his predecessor and a leg.]

Well, I suppose I'll take your situation as evidence for the "No Manipulation" camp. If you firmly believe this, I could always talk to the others and see if their memories also "match up"?

There's no mistaking it. Without going into personal details that would only bore you, I was born a little differently from most. Thanks to my memory, I can understand my power a little more.

[He'll say that much, at least.] If you'd like to talk to them about that, it seems fair. You should be careful. Unlocking memories beyond what they do remember can be dangerous... Or at least that's what I've heard.

[ Well, when they bring up stuff like that, far be it from him not to take the bait and run with it. ]

Who said being born a little different with power was a bad thing?

[ Maybe this guy could prove even more useful than he'd expected. ]

You can be sure that gauging the line between a memory and what sends shinki over the edge is part of what I'm trying to learn more about. I'm rather good at detecting it already, but...

[ He shrugs. ]

Why try to only be as good as an ordinary human would be detecting that sort of thing when I could be more?

[That earns a pause out of Jae-Ha. He's still glancing down at his arm draped over his own leg, and he raps a couple of his fingers against it as Schuldig speaks. He looks over to him somewhere in the middle.]

What do you mean by that? [Gauging the line? That doesn't sound like a very safe practice at all... But what "more" could he be?]

[He notices the nervous gesture, if he can call it that - repeated gesture anyway.]

Simple - I don't want an ayakashi for a shinki any more than you want to become one.

[ He manages a bit of sincerity in that statement, not just because an ayakashi is impossible to control but because he genuinely wants Nagi to remember him without turning into an ayakashi. ]

Why not inch ever closer to the truth until it's clear - from all the signals they've explained to the new heavenly choir of gods and shinki - that this sort of information is 'safe' to remember and that sort of thing is 'too much'? The moment it becomes too much - the barest hint of blight...

[ He holds up both hands and sits up straighter. ]

I know where that line is.

How could you know something like that? From how puzzled everyone I've spoken to with more experience here has seemed, I thought it was a rather personal thing that varied from person to person.

[He blinks at those hands, sitting a little straighter himself.] So how could you know?

[ This guy isn't tied to any of the Weiss as far as he can tell - not directly, not like superficially. He knew about 6 degrees of separation as well as anyone. But since this guy wouldn't recognize the name 'Schuldig', he feels fine bringing up 'Loki' and the 'god power' that he's been telling people about. ]

I don't know now, but I get to find out when I talk to people.

[ So he taps his own temple, keeping his expression as neutral as he can. ]

I hear things like that.

Hear things?

[Jae-Ha drops his leg so they're crossed normally again, blinking as he tries to understand.] You're trying to say you can hear when a shinki gets close to a memory that would cause them to transform?

You don't have to be so vague. How can you hear something like that?

[Vague is practically his native language now with the number of others he speaks. Ah well, curiosity and all that... Might as well give him a peak behind the curtain.]

That's exactly right. It's a gift of mine - thoughts, feelings, memories. I can see and hear those sorts of things from others. The great god Loki.

[Two complete separate statements to him, but letting people draw their own incorrect conclusions was always better than outright lying when he could manage it. The connection would hopefully be made in Jae-Ha's mind, otherwise he'd try something firmer.]

Rather "different" don't you think?

So you can read minds?

[Is that what's being said here? Jae-Ha touches a finger to his own chin as he thinks, and suddenly his thoughts are a lot more wary just thinking on it. Well, naturally he wants him to prove it, but he also doesn't like the invasion of privacy... So he'll wait for an answer.]

[Such a simple response! But at least he isn't totally freaking out.]

And more, but yes, that was the first thing I figured out.

[Also true. Technically it was emotions before literal thoughts. Details.]

That's a dangerous thing to admit to a perfect stranger.

[So there has to be a reason for it. Either he's a naive idiot, or he feels confident knowing his thoughts (which in that case, wouldn't make this power likely very new), or he has other strange suspicious motives... There's any number of things it could be, but Jae-Ha is definitely alert to them now, even while staying mellow.

He's definitely not the type to freak out majorly unless it's a specific type of situation, like someone he cares about in danger... And even then, he reigns himself in. So.]

Is it a constant thing, or one you have to will yourself to do? Can you tell what I'm thinking or feeling or remembering now, for example? [With a smile, he's just going to repeatedly think that Schuldig would be prettier if he were more charming in personality, but as it is he falls flat. He's so kind.]

[He shrugs.]

You were interested, so I told you. You asked me to not be so vague, after all.

[The fact that Jae-Ha didn't freak out meant that he'd guessed right, it took way more to ruffle this guy's feathers than the mere idea that someone could read minds. Mundane people were disturbed by that alone.]

It's near-constant, yes. Like a radio I can't shut off - a constant buzzing, one layer on top of the other, a cacophony of hopes and fears.

[It drove other telepaths insane, that sort of thing.]

But yes, when I want to, I've learned how to tune into specific people's voices and listen closer.

[So he smiles back.]

You, for example, don't think I'm very charming. A pity, but not surprising either. It happens when you're focused on a goal, I think.

[Ah, well that could be guessed from anything, but the timing— it had to be the truth. He laughs at it being stated so calmly that he finds him dull, glancing away as if he has any shame about his shallow thoughts.]

So have you been tuning in to my voice all along, then? How embarrassing.

[Hardly embarrassing, really, when he's been on edge and worried about more serious topics. Briefly, he wonders if this man then knows about his dragon leg now— but that's hardly a secret either, with how he jumps around freely. But his memory...

Ah, now he's thinking even more and he can't help it.]

Are you saying you can tell me the point where a thought would cause me to transform into an ayakashi?

Embarrassing? Well, not to me. Anyway, what can I say? Anyone who's more than a mundane human is the first to catch my ear.

[He looks a little sad, dramatically so.]

And there's not nearly as many of those as you'd think. Everyone else is pretty boring to listen to for long lengths of time.

[Still, he knows what Jae-Ha's interest is in clearly and it's what Schuldig wants to experiment more with anyway. So he nods.]

But yes, that's what I'm saying.

[Even if he hasn't actually done it, he's confident he could do it, especially now that he's peeked into an ayakashi's mind.]

Edited 2016-10-17 04:50 (UTC)

Are you not human yourself?

[He seems like it, but looks can be deceiving. And Jae-Ha is beginning to wonder, with words like that. Still—] Unfortunately, this isn't something that I can afford to mess around with. If even one slip up occurs and I change...

[He'd be letting someone down, is the first thought he has. Not just one someone, but many. There's one that comes to the top of his mind, though, being his god. His more-than-god, from these sappy thoughts...

He can't risk it, as much as he wants to fight the man.]

[He shakes his head no.]

I wasn't before and I'm certainly not anymore.

[But he does hold up a finger to gesture importance and agreement.]

That's arguably the smartest way to think about it, as a shinki. When it comes to drawing memories out, well I don't know you, so I can't do much of that myself. However, if someone else you know were to try jogging your memory...

[He shrugs again at that.]

Well you're already taking precautions, aren't you? What's one more to have on hand? It's just a thought - not being a shinki of course I don't have to worry about such things. It's your decision. Gods are easy to call up either way though. Handy that.

[He idly wonders if this man has ever sent a prayer to his more-than-god as a means of summoning him - a literal booty call - but that's it. Sap was the last thing he personally cared about except as a mental note on who the person was.]

HEAVEN'S BBS | TEXT

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if you ever need more info on what he's thinking/his memory just private plurk me btw!

thank you

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