HEAVEN'S BBS | TEXT

[razzledazzles]

Posted: 1 May 2016
From: Jae-Ha

Have any shinki woken up one morning to find that they could suddenly recall something? Like a piece of their memory had been restored, as if it were never missing to begin with.

I need to know if it's a bad sign, or if anything needs to be done.

Comments

[moonlitknight]

[ This immediately gets his attention. ]

No.

Have you remembered something?

[razzledazzles]

Yes. Just a short memory.

[moonlitknight]

[ .... ]

What was it?

If you don't mind me asking.

[razzledazzles]

That's a secret.

[So he does mind.]

[moonlitknight]

[ He understands the privacy of one's memories, so he'll back off. ]

Is this the first memory you've recovered?

[razzledazzles]

Yes, it's the only one I recall outside of showing up here. I can think back on it as many times as I'd like, but I don't feel comfortable trying to think past or around it. It seems the only thing I can safely recall.

[moonlitknight]

[ That detail sounds familiar. ]

You aren't the first shinki to recover a memory. I thought it was an anomaly the last time, but now I'm not so sure.

[razzledazzles]

Who was it, if I can ask?

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[moonlitknight]

Nageki Fujishiro

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[razzledazzles]

Did they speak to you about this in private?

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[moonlitknight]

No. He wasn't hiding it.

[ But that didn't mean he'd give out his name in public. ]

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[razzledazzles]

And he hasn't disappeared?

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[moonlitknight]

Not to my knowledge.
Perhaps you can learn something from each other. About shinki and their memories.

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[razzledazzles]

Do you think so? I'm worried it may actually be dangerous to discuss it too much.

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[moonlitknight]

[ He didn't have a god to caution him of that path, to ease his doubts when his humanity came into question. Coupled with the fact that his personality demanded he fight for the bonds that even now he couldn't remember, yet felt so deeply that he knew something was missing. It was instinct to ignore the pain, the silent nudge that pushed him away from the truth. He'd done it all his life, and those same instincts had driven him to the good Samaritan who revealed too much inciting his need to know. That god hadn't been his own so he couldn't grasp the depth of damage he'd done with his words, which put him on a path he would not waver from. No matter the cost, he would recover the bond that took half his heart and the memories that came with it. ]

Why?

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[razzledazzles]

Don't you feel it, too? If you try to think on your past, that small feeling that tells you not to. You should never push past that.

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[moonlitknight]

I've felt it.

[ So deeply, he'd been driven to his knees, but it was a small price to pay for what lay just beyond his grasp.]

It doesn't matter.

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[razzledazzles]

What do you mean it doesn't matter?

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[moonlitknight]

Exactly that. It's just a need. Just pain.

[ If he focused enough, he could move past it. He didn't know how, but he was used to it, yet it was never enough to grab what he wanted. ]

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[razzledazzles]

You're trying to push for pain? If you push too far in this case, you could wind up as a monster, not just in pain.

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[moonlitknight]

[ A short pause. ]

Monster?

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[razzledazzles]

An ayakashi.

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[moonlitknight]

[ He stiffens. ]

What do you mean?

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[razzledazzles]

From what I've been told, if a shinki learns of their memories, they'll turn into an ayakashi.

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[moonlitknight]

[ A long silence before a single text is sent. ]

They really hate us don't they.