Feb 18; Video

[roeh]

[The commander's been around the debriefing block more times that she can count so she knows how to play it in front of the camera. Even if that camera was a nightmare of outdated tech that even now threatens to crack her cool facade. Just keep a straight face, Shepard. Make nice to get what you want want, what you need, and maybe no one has to get hurt. For once.]

Commander Shepard. Systems Alliance. Council Spectre. I doubt that will mean much to most of you but I figure it's worth putting out there in case it does.

So on the one hand, I got myself a bit of a promotion. Thanks but no thanks. [A beat.]

On the other, it seems I've been knocked back a couple centuries. Right into the galactic dark ages. How anyone survives on DSL is beyond me but here's my divine wisdom for the day. When spaceflight is capable enough to get you there, save yourself the decades of dicking around and check out Charon. You're welcome.

[With a smirk that is equal parts acerbic and playful -- I'm not happy but nothing personal -- she finally gets to the heart of the matter. A challenge is still a challenge and the rules of that particular game haven't changed as far as she's concerned. There's certainly allies to be found in a predicament like this.]

Now I get that this new found omnipotence doesn't quite extend beyond the boundaries of space time here but I'm all for beating my head against a wall so I'll probably be looking into it anyway. It'd be nice to have some help. In the meantime, anyone want to point me to a good place where I could pick up a gun? Its dangerous to go alone, after all.

Comments

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[sweetdeath]

Yeah, but it means you've got to deal with some scary people if you want one!

So what do you want to shoot?

[... there are some scary new gods out there.]

[roeh]

Well aren't you sweet. But I'm a big girl. I promise I'll protect you from any scary thugs that try to follow me home. You know. With my gun.

[Written text or not, it's all a thin veil for her dripping sarcasm.]

[sweetdeath]

Look, I just don't want you to get shot. It hurts.

And besides, you're a god. Anybody you could shoot probably wasn't going to be a threat in the first place.

[With some notable exceptions. Mortal magic users, for example.]

[roeh]

[Yeah. Probably best not to mention those just yet if you're too keen on dissuading her.]

Then it's a good thing I plan on doing the shooting and not the getting shot. Besides. I'm thinking target practice with immortals means less bodies to clean up.

[Believe it or not, she's actually kidding about that last one. Really.]

[sweetdeath]

And it still hurts a lot....

Look, if you're that bored I can teach you archery or something.

[roeh]

Not exactly the same thing. But I suppose it couldn't hurt to pick up a few new ways to kill someone while we're stuck here.[And now she's just fucking with you.]

[sweetdeath]

[It's super effective. It'd probably work even face-to-face, but when this is all typed, it's particularly hard for Tsuzuki to tell if she's joking or if she's actually serious.]

It's a sport! Target shooting isn't about trying to kill anybody!

[Several minutes later, he adds another comment.]

That was a joke right.

[roeh]

[Oh man she's probably laughing too hard to reply soon enough. But the second one. That hits somewhere a little closer to home.]

Alright fine you win. [At least until the shooting starts.] So name your time and place.

[sweetdeath]

[And now the real question: does he actually think she's gonna try to shoot anybody?

....

Probably not. Not unless she's attacked, because it sounded like she wanted to protect herself. So it's safe. She's just got a weird sense of humor! Yeah. He laughs, nervously, out loud, and goes back to typing.]

Time, after I find an archery range, place, the archery range! I'll keep you posted. Shepard, right?

I'm Asato Tsuzuki.

[roeh]

[Hey now she's military at least. That's gotta count for something in the responsibility department. Maybe.]

You got it. I don't suppose anyone named Heracles or Diana showed up with us? That would make things easy.

[sweetdeath]

Nobody I've met! Are they friends of yours?

[Heracles sounds kind of familiar, like he's from a story, but wasn't it spelled differently? The only Diana he can think of offhand is the British princess.

Anyway, she's from way in the future if he understood what she was saying in her video right. It's probably not anyone he'd recognize.]

[roeh]

[Seems the Western pantheon could be just as unfamiliar to some as these Eastern gods were to her. Figures.]

Not even close. And I think I like it that way. The less gods the better, right now.

[sweetdeath]

Oh they're gods! Okay. Anyway, I'll keep an eye out for that archery range and let you know. There's a lot of war gods up here so there's got to be one.

[Hopefully, some war gods are inclined to be friendly to newcomers.]

[roeh]

In that case, maybe we should start in my backyard. [Because you're looking at one of them. Figuratively speaking.]

[sweetdeath]

Wait, really? How big is your backyard? I don't have that much space....

[roeh]

You ever heard of a figure of speech?

[sweetdeath]

[But she sounded serious!

Okay, she sounded like words on a screen. But they looked like serious words. Some people have big gardens.

... Yeah he just has to admit he's looking like an idiot here and cover his retreat.]

I was joking too.

[Perfect response. No one will suspect.]

Anyway, I'll let you know! Are you a war god too or something?

[roeh]

[Uh huh. Real smooth.]

Now you're getting it. Can't say I've noticed any stray bows and arrows around my place but it is a little high up for that.

[sweetdeath]

So where do you live? I mean, what's it look like?

[roeh]

[In response, there's nothing but a picture attached]

[sweetdeath]

Whoa, nice!!

How did you get that picture so fast?

[It's not even that he's old. It's that last thing he knew, it was 1997, and what is this brand-new world where phones can take pictures?]

[roeh]

The same way I'm talking to you. Whatever this thing that passes for a phone is called. [It might not have occurred to her yet that if people can move back in time, others can move forward.]

[roeh]

[Barely a half minute passes before she replies again.] It says Experia on the bottom.

[sweetdeath]

Whoa, it takes pictures too?? This thing is fancy! I mean I'm sure you're used to better technology if you're from the future.


They've done a lot in just 20 years though.

[roeh]

Twenty years? [Now she's putting it together.] If you think this is a lot, just wait 100 more.