Heaven's BBS | Text

[punchpass]

Posted: 19 April 2016
From: Kuroko Tetsuya

---------

[This text post goes up a few hours after the aftermath of Sho trashing heaven settled down. The author, however, has no idea what is going on.]

If, hypothetically, one were to explore their god's temple, which is actually a series of linked caves and get lost, how would one get out?

I need an answer because this is not hypothetical. I am actually stuck down here and require assistance.

[There is a picture below this of Kuroko taking a usual stone-faced selfie with the flash illuminating him eerily. It's clear he's somewhere dark and underground.]

Despite that, my surroundings are fascinating. I have no idea how far these caves go, or if any local flora or fauna grow here. There is also surprisingly good cell signal.

Comments

[oathkeeper]

uhh kuroko...? on a scale of 1 to 10 how lost are you?

[punchpass]

With 10 being I believe I have accidentally wandered into hell.....about a 12.

[oathkeeper]

[..............OH NO.]

okay next important question

do you like peanut butter and jam sandwiches?

[punchpass]

I suppose, though not as much as vanilla milkshakes.

[??????????????????]

[oathkeeper]

great because that's all i can make got it.

DON'T MOVE i'm on my way, buddy!

[Sora's been down there once before, how bad can it be?????????]

[slantedcross]

Is going back the way you came not an option, then?

I'd say pray.

[punchpass]

I would do that if that was not what I've been trying to do for approximately the last two hours.

However I think praying is useless if we already are in heaven.

[slantedcross]

If you direct this at enough gods, it probably still counts.

Do people make a habit of going down there? I'm still finding my way around the place in general. Can you think of anyone specific who might know the way?

[punchpass]

I don't want to disturb any of the gods with such a dumb request though. They have actual people in distress to take care of.

As for people coming down here, I think I'm the first one. I wandered into these caves partly to see what they were like; not even Arikado-sama knows the way.

[wadoichimonji]

How did you manage to reach the caves? I will go find you.

[punchpass]

They are actually part of Arikado-sama's temple. However, I did not know they were this extensive.

If Roronoa-san has a good sense of direction though, I would be more than happy for him to help out.

[wadoichimonji]

I am on my way already.


How do I get there?

[punchpass]

[If he knew that it would go a lot easier.]

I don't know, I just went into the caves at the back of Arikado-sama's temple and kept going.

[miraculo]

the caves would have been built by something right? you better get out of there, or a giant worm monster might come charging after you!!

[ NOT HELPFUL. ]

[punchpass]

I would actually welcome meeting a large worm monster. The caves so far have been so devoid of flora and fauna that it's almost boring.

Or maybe the noises I've been hearing are just figments of my imagination.

[The last part was made up. Mostly.]

[miraculo]

[ VOICES?? ] oh no!! you don't need to talk to your imagination!! if you're lonely or scared, i'm always here to help!!

[ Please don't go crazy in the darkness and solitude, stranger! ]

[punchpass]

I am not hearing voices, so there's no need to worry. It's just the echo of my own footsteps. You are right, though, it is pretty lonely down here.

[hyuuga]

Usually, when/if you're lost in a cave, sometimes it helps if you have some good senses. If you got in then there should be an exit, which means fresh air coming in that you should either be able to feel or smell it. Then, just follow it..

[punchpass]

I'm afraid I don't have good senses; I just ran into a wall. Also all it smells like down here is cave.

[hyuuga]

[Oh dear.. Now she was more worried than before.]

Oh, that does...sound very troubling.

[And then, a minute later (as she debated with herself as to whether or not she should offer or not): ]

If you'd like. Just let me know what temple you're at.. Or, rather, the temple you started at, and I can come find you.

[That was once a huge part of her job when she wasn't a god, after all.]

[punchpass]

I will only tell you if you promise you won't get lost coming down here. I appreciate the effort of my friends but...apparently they are all just as lost as I am now.

[toremainbehind]

How long have you been wandering around the caves?

[punchpass]

I'm not exactly sure. But judging by the posts on the BBS I've been able to see, about a day.

[toremainbehind]

[Well...that's concerning.]

Has anyone gone to find you yet?

[punchpass]

Yes, actually. Two of my friends have promised to come down here and find me. I hope they can make it safely.