Heaven's BBS | Video

[ittenbari]

From: Sakon Shima
Posted: January 29

[The camera isn't exactly steady as it's turned left and right, showing an empty space where a temple used to be. When it's turned back to Sakon's face, he looks despondent with none of his usual cheer.]

So. Uh...

[He looks back over his shoulder, then down at the ground.]

I'm kinda on the streets again...uh...if you can call it that...

[He sighs and it jostles the camera a bit.]

I didn't eat too much this time! I promise! But that's...I mean, nothing was left behind at all this time, so...yeah...

Comments

[ittenbari]

I dunno...it'd feel kinda weird bragging about stuff like that.

[He usually doesn't hesitate to show off but there's just something different between putting on a show for equals and trying to impress a superior. The latter seems like something he should really take seriously, like he should win someone over by doing his best work. But there's really no work for him to do...]

[killercoat]

It's weird because you lack confidence. Think of it this way, your survival depends on it.

[Maybe that will give Sakon a sense of urgency that can override whatever is holding him. Akutagawa can't read his mind. If he does voices that he's not sure how to display his skills, then he can offer a suggestion. Maybe it could help.]

You can't survive alone, and I'm sure there are some gods out there who don't have a shinki.

[ittenbari]

Yeah, but they don't ever seem interested in hiring me...

[Since this isn't the first time this has happened.]

There's only one time I didn't have to wait to get reassigned and that was just...I mean, it sounds bad to say it was a pity thing and I hope I worked hard enough to make it more than that, but...

[killercoat]

Pity would be allowing you to stay over the night, not take you on as a shinki. That's a commitment and a responsibility that's not taken lightly.

[ Well Akutagawa hopes that the god, Sakon is referring to, hadn't taken it lightly.]

It doesn't seem like you're ready to take on another god. Understandably, if I were in your shoes, I would probably question myself as well. Though it would be unfair to your new god to deal with your unsettled feelings. It might even be dangerous for them since intense thoughts will sting your god.

You should find someone to vent to, perhaps a friend or some gentle acquaintance.

[ Although Sakon has poured his heart out on one occasion, Akutagawa isn't really volunteering himself. He's sure this guy has friends who can help him out.]

[ittenbari]

I'd never do that! Sting my god, I mean! Never never never!

[It's hard to wave your hands frantically and hold your phone at the same time, so it takes a few seconds of desperate juggling before he can continue.]

If I had a god to serve, I'd give it 100% no matter what!

[killercoat]

[ Akutagawa can't see how frantic Sakon is, but he can definitely hear the clumsiness as the sound becomes muffled and distorted. What is this idiot doing?

Though he waits, until the sound returns to normal.]

Well, that sounds a lot better than earlier. If you've only given your all, then your new god shouldn't be any different. There's also nothing for you to question either since you've only worked hard.

I don't understand why you're moping about?

[ittenbari]

Uh...it's just...

[Everything, really, but it's pretty hard to explain.]

I'm not the kinda guy who does well on his own, I guess? Without someone to serve, I'm just...

[Lost, pretty much.]

[killercoat]

[He understands that well since he hasn't really been able to establish a connection with a god yet. So he's been wandering around, trying to make sense of everything.]

I believe I understand. It's like you need something to live for, and if you don't, you're just roaming aimlessly like some vagabond cat without a home.

[He's not sure if he truly understands what Sakon is trying to describe, but he gets a sense that the other shinki must be lacking in drive.]

There's no immediate solution to that. If you're dependant on a master to function, then all you can do is wait or tolerate it until you are re-assigned.

[ittenbari]

Yeah, I guess...

[He probably should make a fuss and protest being called a stray cat, but he really can't. It's not that far from the truth, after all, though he's pretty sure this is the first time anyone has even chosen a cat as the animal to compare him to.]

I could probably function fine. Probably. It's just that I'm a shinki and I want to be useful to someone.

[killercoat]

[Sakon certainly does favor a puppy more than a feline, but he was just using an analogy.

Though he does get what Sakon means, he also has the same yearning to be useful to someone.]

And you can't be useful without a god to assist? You'll just have to tolerate it for a bit longer. You're resilient enough, so you shouldn't overthink it.

[ittenbari]

Yeah, I'm not good at thinking anyway...

[killercoat]

Yes, you've proven that. I don't know how you've survived with that empty head of yours.

[ittenbari]

It's kinda a mystery...

[He doesn't even flinch. He knows how things are.]

I'm a shinki, though, so I kind of didn't survive at some point. I hope it wasn't doing anything too embarrassing...

[killercoat]

Even a fool's luck runs out, eventually. Let's hope you didn't perish in some absurd way. You might not be too bright, but you surely have some dignity.

[At least, Akutagawa hopes that's the case. If Sakon is a swordsman, he's surely strict to the code of the warrior. An undignified death would be quite shameful, and he'll probably be shunned all the way into his afterlife.]