HEAVEN'S BBS | TEXT

[okitactless]

Posted: April 10th, 1:30 pm
From: YAMATONOKAMIYASUSADA

[Awww, it's Yamato's first text post! This will in no way be a disaster.]

How do you let the tsukumogami out of the phone??

[...He means the AI voice-activated assistant whose name may or may not rhyme with Miri.

...Look, at least he's typing coherently now!]

Does she need to eat I wanted to take her on a walk but she said she didn't understand and she won't come out of the phone

[How is it that Yamato is now in possession of a smartphone and still somehow thinks there's a little spirit living inside of it? The answer begins with the word "Commander" and ends with the word "-kun". Thanks, Shepard.]

Comments

[subtract]

What in the world are you talking about? There's something in your phone?

[okitactless]

yes she's not very nice though so I thought she wanted to come out but she won't come out

[subtract]

You're still not making any sense. Is it something showing on the screen? [skimming the other responses, an AI or interactive program of some sort would make sense...]

If you want to let her out, you should try unscrewing the case of your phone, kekeke.

[disciplineking]

You're an idiot.

[okitactless]

[The puppy speaks!]

that wasn't my question

[disciplineking]

No, but it's a perfectly valid answer.

text... yams why is your brain a nicely baked yam

[tsuku]

Yamato did you read the phone manual? Please tell me you did. A phone's just a phone, and the voice is part of the phone.

it's not his fault his god likes to troll him okay

[okitactless]

what

[Guess who didn't get a manual! (The phone has parental controls on it, it's fine.)]

I asked her what her favorite food was but she wouldn't tell me so I left some mochi for her but she won't eat it

shepard...!

[tsuku]

[ What isn't seen is Otegine with his own smartphone pressed against his forehead. He tried to facepalm but did with his phone still in his hand. ]

Uh... get one of these. It's like phone food.

I can help you with it in person, if you like. Also eat the mochi, you're wasting good food if it isn't eaten.

[ Attached at the bottom is a photo of this, a power bank. ]

[chickshades]

...its an ai

[okitactless]

Her name is Aichan?

[Well that's cute and all, but she's still kinda rude.]

[chickshades]

its not a chick
its just programming

[mybadhabit]

She is the phone, Yamato. Do you know Genos?

[okitactless]

oh...

[...So he has to take the whole phone on walks, then. Got it.]

no what's that is it like Google

[mybadhabit]

Ah, no, he's a cyborg. I was going to make comparisons, but if you don't know him, don't worry about it. (✿◠‿◠)

But yes, she doesn't live inside the phone, she is the phone. She's your little friendly helper for when you need to look up information! So she's like a portable version of Google.

[scrap_metal]

Phone is just that, a phone. No one is living inside it.

[okitactless]

but she talks! [EXPLAIN THAT.]

[scrap_metal]

It's an application assistant. A program designed to help you. The voice was either pre-recorded or is computer-generated. "She" can't leave that device.

BBS: Sheryl

[galactically]

nothing will be popping out of phones! start making sense already!

Re: BBS: Sheryl

[okitactless]

I am making sense!! [DON'T YELL AT HIM SHERYL] when I ask the phone questions she gives me answers!

[galactically]

who is this "she"?? you're making it sound like you have a dog in your phone!

[oathkeeper]

the what? is there a ghost in your phone?

[okitactless]

oh no

[Not ghosts anything but ghosts!! What if everybody else is wrong about Ai-chan being the phone and it really is a ghost?!

CAN GHOSTS BE KILLED WITH FIRE he may or may not try.]

I don't want a ghost!!!!

[sweetdeath]

You've got a tsukumogami in your phone?! I didn't think any of them were old enough for that!

[Cell phones are new technology! New technology gets thrown out so fast these days Tsuzuki just sort of assumed nobody got that attached. Even when they were making it. Assembly-line manufacture really takes the spirit out of made goods.]

Do you need help?

[okitactless]

I don't know what else it could be!!! sora-kun said maybe a ghost but then other people said it's the phone so I don't understand

[The answer is yes. Yes, he does need help.]