thefarshore | Heaven's BBS

From: Sousuke Yamazaki
When: Early October

[It’s rare that he posts to the BBS; Sousuke’s quiet nature and sometimes-over-focus kind of leads to that little problem. Content to dwell with his own life and his own small circle of friends and duties. But sometimes, the private life just doesn’t cut it. Especially when said private life is the entire reason for breaking his silence and going outside that small circle.

The video feed clicks on with a quiet sound, light blazing from the screen for a second until it adjusts to the scenery. It’s soon obvious he’s alone. Considering the presence of a black jacket barely resting at the peripheral of the video’s frame, it’s likely he’s holding the screen to his side. Deliberately not pointing the feed at himself. Instead, there’s a lovely shot of a quiet patch of natural garden, complete with trickling spring, breezing of clear air, and the ever-present drizzle of pink sakura petals from the surrounding grove Eros’ castle temple is renowned for.

There’s a moment of silence, semi-awkward on his end, before Sousuke finally outs with it. His tone’s calm, musing.]

Can a god and a shinki be more than god and shinki? [A measure before adding in a lower voice.] Or will it make problems between them?

[Yeah, it’s vague, he knows. The nature of god and shinki is a complex relationship. But Sousuke’s not honest enough with his softer emotions and being open to other people to outright ask the serious/~~embarrassing~~ question:

~~What happens if you find yourself attracted to your own god?~~]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Not exactly... This is why he's not aiming the screen at his face cause it's a bit of a pink mess right now.]

Yeah, the negative ones can blight your god if they get too bad.

[Spotlight switch.]

What about you? Your feelings might affect the god you said you'd date.

It might go back to my god, but they wouldn't bother her directly like that, I don't think.

Probably ought to mention that to him at some point, come to think of it...

But really, that's the sort of thing you just have to talk about and be aware of. Just be open and discuss it properly. That way no one's surprised, and everyone knows what they're getting into.

[That clears things up.]

Doubtful. That connection doesn't extend to gods you're not bound to.

[Wouldn't that be weird, feeling your shinki's attraction to another person? Ugh, he's never going to get used to this 'privacy breech' bond.]

I guess it's the same if, for instance, the god you're dating is your own.

Right. Then that's a little complicated. Sometimes relationships mean you have to hurt someone else, and that's harder when you will feel it directly.

But again, if you're mature and responsible, you can work with that. It's all about what you're prepared to accept. If you can accept that there will be difficulties and troubles, or that things in the relationship won't be normal, then you can get through it. And you should try, I think! Because otherwise, you might be missing out on something great! SomeONE great!

[He wishes it was only a little complicated. His inexperience is only one of the factors.]

You sound like a friend of mine.

[There's a small, amused light in his voice. The passion and determination, plus that romantic streak...]

I don't want to cause him more trouble. Hn, but it's not something I can hide from him either.

[Considering that bond means his god's going to feel it.]

You're right about missing out.

[Edge, secretly, is more of a mature adult than he lets on. Please tell no one, it would ruin his image.]

Whoa, hold on there. 'I don't want to cause him more trouble' is just an excuse. If you want to be fair to someone, you give them the choice. You don't decide for them what would or wouldn't be trouble to them.

[His lips are sealed.

Though it's a pretty big wake up call to hear that piece of advice. There's silence on the other end as he reflects.]

That depends on how well you know the person.

[Sousuke's not about to check in with his god for each decision in that vein.]

Maybe, but some things make it important and count for a lot more there. God-shinki bonds are one. Romance is another. The moment you start choosing for someone else, you're being selfish even if you think it's selfless!

[Selfish, huh. Can't argue with that.]

...

[He's insightful.]

Sometimes you have to make that sacrifice. I don't run every decision I make past my god, even if it affects him.

Sure, and there's fair bounds there. If you and your god know each other well enough, that's okay. But a romance thing is way too big, that's not covered under 'common courtesy'.

Answer me this: Are you looking for an excuse to do it, or an excuse not to do it?

[If he considered himself a romantic, he'd argue the common courtesy point. But he doesn't and it makes sense at face value.

The other question's to the point and he's silent for a bit, asking himself the same thing. ... Tch, man up.]

I want to. But I've blighted him before. If I'm going to move forward, I want to know what I'm getting mys--us, into.

[Cards on the table. In the end, Sousuke will always be more concerned with his god's comfort and safety than his own wants.

He's not the priority here. (If he were, he'd never have made this post in the first place.)]

Right. So be open and honest with him, give him all the information, and make an informed decision together.

Any sneaking around, any hiding your feelings for his sake -- especially with the bond, but even without taking it into consideration at all -- are just going to bite you in the ass later. Secrets and lies, even well-meaning ones, are sharpened swords you leave hiding around. Someone will get cut.

It sounds easy when you say it. But it looks like there's no other choice.

Aa. I know what you mean. Something we'll need to work out.

If you compare it to the alternative? Yeah, it's easy. You just have to remember that the other paths are the ones that are going to hurt the people you're trying not to hurt. Put it that way?

[How loudly can one communicate a shrug?]

But it's not easy in the short term.

[It's a deafening shrug. Volume down.]

"Other paths," hm. Between going forward with it and ignoring it, there aren't many other choices.

I never thought it was going to be easy.

Of course not. So since it's going to hard no matter what, take the path that's most rewarding!

Aa. That's the best choice now isn't it.

[Don't dwell on too many future 'what if's' that might not be an issue.]

Exactly. Deal with what comes when it comes, but if you spend all your time living in worry about the future, you'll never actually face the present.

[Spending too much time in past or future robs from the present.]

Hn, unable to move forward...

[Just some agreement musing.]

I appreciate the advice.

Hey, no problem! Here's hoping it all works out for you. Good romantic vibes all around the Far Shore!

Aa. Yourself included.

[He hadn't missed the earlier, quiet underbreath that whoever this guy wants to date will feel better.]

Ah ha. Thanks. I need it.

[Even if she gets better, BOY does he have a road ahead of him.]

You'll do fine.

[If he's giving these opinions, then he's got a good grasp on it.]

Ja ne.

[A quiet 'goodbye' but he really does appreciate the talk. If they meet somewhere, he'll ask about how it went.]

Heaven's BBS | ~Video~

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