Heaven's BBS || Text: Greek Pantheon Role Call

[mybadhabit]

Posted: April 8th, 2:37 AM
From: Hermes

I was planning on discussing this anyway, as I have been researching the Greek pantheon for an idea of what my followers will be expecting of me, as well as what I should be expecting of my followers, but Artemis's post has given me an idea. I really would like to pursue the idea of a family tree. I believe it would only benefit those of us in the pantheon, as a way of keeping track of each other and providing a support network, even if you don't want to believe in the family aspect. Having business connections, if nothing else, can only enable us to do our jobs better.

Or we can descend quickly into sexual chaos and violent feuding, the way the original pantheon did, my expectations are admittedly low. We are not, historically speaking, a nobly behaved bunch (Athena is especially known for being petty).

Without further ado, an INCOMPLETE family tree, done in tables until I can come up with a more efficient way of doing this, because seriously, this gets so quickly out of hand, mostly because SOMEONE (Zeus/Dad) cannot keep his dick in his pants. I have been up all night working on this. I know it's not pretty, I am not a web designer.

Primordial Gods	Gaia	Eros	Thanatos	Hypnos	Eris	Hyperion	Uranus
Olmpyian Gods	Hestia	Hades	Hera	Poseidon	Demeter	Zeus	Aphrodite
Child of Demeter				Persephone
Child of Zeus	Ares	Hephaustus	Artemis (Roxas)	Apollo	Hermes (Sonic)	Athena	Dionysus
The Muses (Also Zeus's children)	Calliope	Clio	Erato	Euterpe (Sheryl Nome)	Melpomene	Polyhymnia	Terpsichore
			Thalia	Urania
Child of Hermes and Aphrodite	Tyche	Rhodos	Peitho	Eunomia	Hermaphroditus	Abderus	Pan

There are others, but this was enough of a headache as it was, and I don't hate myself that much. Some of this may be wrong due to conflicting information (Aphrodite's parentage, for example), or because I am tired and don't care anymore. These are the primary gods and goddesses (and my children because I will need to keep track of them at some point). I already did the ones I know. Don't ask how I got pictures, please. I am a ninja, I have ways. Please comment below to be added to the... chart... if you're a part of the Greek pantheon. Please comment below if you're a part of the Greek pantheon that was not included on the chart, so I can make a place for you. You're probably one of Zeus's many other illegitimate children. If you don't know what pantheon you're a part of, please comment below, and I can find out for you.

Comment below if you feel like trolling! You're going to do it anyway, I might as well make this an open invitation event.

If you're worried about this ruining your relationships, don't worry about it. Aphrodite was married to Hephaestus, and the original Hermes still managed to have several children with her. Monogamy didn't matter much, and neither did incest. The Greek pantheon is a complete clusterfuck, as I said before.

I'm going to bed. I will deal with this in the morning, and as it pops up over the course of the day. You're all welcome.

Comments

[doestheickyjobs]

Okay but does this actually mean anything?

Say somebody's gotten named Aphrodite. She's not actually going to be somebody's kid or somebody's wife just because the original Aphrodite was. I mean, you can call me whatever you want, I'm still me.

[mybadhabit]

Did no one actually read any of what I wrote?!

No, it doesn't actually mean anything, and I'm certainly not interested in pursuing Aphrodite, whomever she may be, it's mostly just a way of getting to know people. Everyone's taking this far too seriously than I intended it to be.

I just wanted to find out who else around here is in my pantheon and share some of the mythology. I thought people would respond if they thought they could get something out of it, too.

No one's giving Roxas a hard time about this.

[doestheickyjobs]

You want me to read it you've got to make it shorter. Maybe bullet points next time.

[tl;dr, Sonic. tl;dr.]

Anyway, Pippa's Aphrodite, so, you know. I'm just defending my goddess here. Shinki privilege, or something like that.

[mybadhabit]

• Sigh. Clearly that's the only way I'm going to get anything read around here.


• You should have said something sooner.


• I didn't even know there was an Aphrodite until Roxas mentioned her.


• Where has she been?

[doestheickyjobs]

Better! You are getting the hang of this.

Oh, here and there, you know. We've both been busy! Why, you want to hold a family reunion?

[mybadhabit]

• Curiosity, mostly.


• I want to see what she's like.


• To see how similar she is to the Aphrodite of the the myths.


• It could lead to insights about how people are selected to fulfill certain roles.

[doestheickyjobs]

Hey, I'll point her your way next time I see her.

What's myth Aphrodite supposed to be like anyway?

[mybadhabit]

...Promise you won't be upset with me if you don't like what you hear?

[doestheickyjobs]

Not like it has to have anything to do with her, right? Shoot.

[mybadhabit]

Of course not, but you might recognize some of Pippa in the description, and I'd hate to offend.

• Aphrodite was notoriously vain, ill-tempered, and easily offended.


• She'd do anything she has to get her way.


• Because of her indescribable beauty, Zeus feared she would start a war between the gods in pursuit of her hand.


• So he married her to his son Hephaestus, the ugliest god on Olympus.


• She'd sneak off to liaison with other gods anyway.


• Ares was her favorite, but she was about as bad as Zeus when it came to fidelity.

[doestheickyjobs]

Okay, pretty: check. Easily offended: check. I'm just going to skip the rest of that, because it's not like she's married.

[He thinks. He didn't ask, but she's kind of young and doesn't have a ring on, and that's pretty conclusive, right?

He might not notice that he's accidentally implying things about his goddess's fidelity here.]

[mybadhabit]

Yes, but is she pretty enough that whenever she walks into a room, men instantly start fighting over her?

Keep her away from Dionysus, at any rate, he's a lech.

[doestheickyjobs]

Pretty sure she'd have a problem with them if they tried.

What's Dionysus look like? You haven't got his picture up there.

[mybadhabit]

...You know, the last time I gave his description, I think someone could have mistaken him for you. Luckily, it was only Sora I was talking to, and I think he knew it could not have been you.

But he's a tall, gangly redhead. I always seem to encounter him in a foul mood, but it's hard to say if if that's his usual expression or not.

[doestheickyjobs]

Well yeah, Sora knows I'm a shinki.

Tall gangly redhead, huh. Are his eyes red too?

[How many tall, gangly redheads can there be around here, anyway? Axel's willing to bet it's not over two.]

[mybadhabit]

Ah, I had thought they were brown, but now that you mention it, red does sound right. You've met then, I assume?

[doestheickyjobs]

Yeah, I ran into him on the Near Shore. So he's Dionysus, huh.

Does that make you two brothers?

[mybadhabit]

He doesn't seem too keen on the idea, but yes, technically. I think he's determined to dislike me.

[doestheickyjobs]

You got on him about having drinks at Sora's party, right?

[Axel's kind of on his side there, Sonic, sorry, unless Gojyo was trying to hand out drinks to kids. It's not like Gojyo was that hard to get along with, and Axel met him while swiping shit from his store.]

[mybadhabit]

I didn't think I got on his case that badly. I just told him it was a kid's party, to watch who he was giving his alcohol to, and that if anyone got sick, I was holding him accountable. The whole exchange was barely five minutes, if that, and I didn't raise my voice.

[doestheickyjobs]

[Yeah, it sounds like about the same story from both sides, as far as Axel's concerned. They just both got pissy over it. Personality conflicts, he guesses.]

Whatever, it's not like it's my job to make you two play nice. Isn't Dionysus supposed to be the god of wine or something like that?

[mybadhabit]

I didn't know that at the time. It's not like he ever bothered to introduce himself or anything. :T It's just really annoying. I have been trying to make up for it, but he keeps metaphorically throwing my attempts on the ground.

Thanks for letting me vent at you, anyway.

[doestheickyjobs]

No problem. How're you trying to make it up to him, anyway?

[mybadhabit]

Not much, yet. I only just realized he had a problem with me two days ago, and I haven't had that many chances to interact. Mostly, he's thrown off my attempts to be civil and to discover the source of his negative feelings.

Do you think I should get him a cheese basket? Wine and cheese is a fairly popular combination, and gifts are a way to convey goodwill.

[doestheickyjobs]

Okay, I think I figured out your problem. Maybe just say sorry and let it go.