Heaven's BBS || Text: Greek Pantheon Role Call

[mybadhabit]

Posted: April 8th, 2:37 AM
From: Hermes

I was planning on discussing this anyway, as I have been researching the Greek pantheon for an idea of what my followers will be expecting of me, as well as what I should be expecting of my followers, but Artemis's post has given me an idea. I really would like to pursue the idea of a family tree. I believe it would only benefit those of us in the pantheon, as a way of keeping track of each other and providing a support network, even if you don't want to believe in the family aspect. Having business connections, if nothing else, can only enable us to do our jobs better.

Or we can descend quickly into sexual chaos and violent feuding, the way the original pantheon did, my expectations are admittedly low. We are not, historically speaking, a nobly behaved bunch (Athena is especially known for being petty).

Without further ado, an INCOMPLETE family tree, done in tables until I can come up with a more efficient way of doing this, because seriously, this gets so quickly out of hand, mostly because SOMEONE (Zeus/Dad) cannot keep his dick in his pants. I have been up all night working on this. I know it's not pretty, I am not a web designer.

Primordial Gods	Gaia	Eros	Thanatos	Hypnos	Eris	Hyperion	Uranus
Olmpyian Gods	Hestia	Hades	Hera	Poseidon	Demeter	Zeus	Aphrodite
Child of Demeter				Persephone
Child of Zeus	Ares	Hephaustus	Artemis (Roxas)	Apollo	Hermes (Sonic)	Athena	Dionysus
The Muses (Also Zeus's children)	Calliope	Clio	Erato	Euterpe (Sheryl Nome)	Melpomene	Polyhymnia	Terpsichore
			Thalia	Urania
Child of Hermes and Aphrodite	Tyche	Rhodos	Peitho	Eunomia	Hermaphroditus	Abderus	Pan

There are others, but this was enough of a headache as it was, and I don't hate myself that much. Some of this may be wrong due to conflicting information (Aphrodite's parentage, for example), or because I am tired and don't care anymore. These are the primary gods and goddesses (and my children because I will need to keep track of them at some point). I already did the ones I know. Don't ask how I got pictures, please. I am a ninja, I have ways. Please comment below to be added to the... chart... if you're a part of the Greek pantheon. Please comment below if you're a part of the Greek pantheon that was not included on the chart, so I can make a place for you. You're probably one of Zeus's many other illegitimate children. If you don't know what pantheon you're a part of, please comment below, and I can find out for you.

Comment below if you feel like trolling! You're going to do it anyway, I might as well make this an open invitation event.

If you're worried about this ruining your relationships, don't worry about it. Aphrodite was married to Hephaestus, and the original Hermes still managed to have several children with her. Monogamy didn't matter much, and neither did incest. The Greek pantheon is a complete clusterfuck, as I said before.

I'm going to bed. I will deal with this in the morning, and as it pops up over the course of the day. You're all welcome.

Comments

[Anon Audio]

[phantomforgod]

[He sticks to anon status cuz no way is he putting his account on public network, but Hajime should recognize his voice. All for the sake of a joke:]

Hajime, you should marry me instead!

[mybadhabit]

Don't propose to my daughter unless you're willing to come off anon.

[phantomforgod]

I can propose to her as much as I want. It's the internet. [There's a raspberry being blown.]

[mybadhabit]

[Damn, that's true. Not much he can do about internet suitors. However...]

I've found targets with less to go on than their voice. It should be fairly easily to conduct an investigation on you, mystery anon. I must make sure that you're suitable for my dear Hajime.

[phantomforgod]

Good luck, I'm behind 7 proxies.

[mybadhabit]

Unacceptable. This is absolutely disgraceful, I am disappoint. You clearly think you're some kind of memelord, but you didn't even bother to look up and link to the meme. If you can't care enough to try for your memes, what makes you think you're good enough for Hajime?

[phantomforgod]

Who said anything about it being a meme?

[mybadhabit]

Anyway, even if you are actually behind 7 proxies, that really only helps on the internet.

And I was talking about finding you in person.

[birdstheword]

[It takes her a second to place that voice. But only a second. Oh Yuya. she laughs, kicking her feet before quickly replying back:]

Oh? Why's that?

[phantomforgod]

'Cause then we can share custody of Yuto if we're married-- pffttt [Yeah, he can't hold in the laughter. If Yuto sees this, he's so dead. But totally worth it.]

[birdstheword]

[Good point! Hajime is laughing right along. This is too much fun. Poor Yuto.]

How can I say no that? oh oh oh! we should go on at least one date first though!

[phantomforgod]

Sure, I'm all for that. Any preferences on where and when?

We'll have to elope afterward because your 'dad' sounds like a jerk.

[birdstheword]

Whenever you're free! Here, now, today, tommarrow! Do you like sweets? We can get snow cones or something. what do you like? youre super mysterious~!


Nah! He's great once you get to know him. He's not a jerk, he's a ninja~!!! If we're all going to be a ~family~ you should meet him sometime! ★⌒(●ゝω・)ｂ

[phantomforgod]

[WELP, SWITCHING BACK TO TEXT now that he's been yelled at.]

Being mysterious is just part of my gig.

Anyways, looks like we'll have to put marriage on hold until Yuto gives us his blessing.

[birdstheword]

[ Yuya did nothing wrong.]
But i would like to get to know you better!

Awwwwwww okay! I rather keep Yuto happy. He's important to us both so he comes first!

[audio]

[darkduelist]

I will not allow this.

[Do you hear this voice Yuya? Do you recognize it?

Also, yes. You're totally dead. Kind of.]

[phantomforgod]

What, do you wanna marry her instead? Isn't that something you should do at the wedding? Like a really dramatic "I object!" sort of situation.

[SO WORTH IT, HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE.]

[darkduelist]

No. And you should stop already. This joke isn't even funny.

[It's not funny because he's not laughing!! But then again, does Yuto ever laugh? Can he even do that?!]

[phantomforgod]

[......that is a good question.]

Aw, you're no fun~

[darkduelist]

[He's no fun? No way.]

So will you stop this already or not?

[The most important question.]

[phantomforgod]

For now, yeah.

[FOR NOW.]