Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

[takenwithhim]

Posted: May 21st
From: Sousuke Yamazaki

What are shinki?

I’ve not been here long, so I don’t know the truth. Apparently no shinki can. But I’ve experienced enough.

I don’t like it.

We’re shinki. We weren’t told anything upon our arrival. All we knew is that we’re dead and know nothing else. Other shinki probably had the same experience I did: stumble around until someone told me I had to find a god or something before something bad happened to me. We have to rely on whatever our gods tell us as the truth. We’re told we’re supposed to help our gods with their duties and wants and protect them or fight for them. We can’t exist without you; gods give us form and prevent us from fading away. We have to depend on you to survive.

So what are we to you?

I have a god. A Master. He tells me that I’m human more than I’m his shinki. I don’t know if I believe him entirely.

Not all Masters are like that, are they. Some don’t care what a shinki feels. I guess that’s not far from the truth though. After all, shinki are really nothing more than tools to gods. Gods can pick us up simply because they want something from us. Maybe you feel good having us at your side because you think we remind you of something. Maybe you want us because we’re useful to you or you like our looks or fit your fighting style or powers.

But if it doesn’t work out, if we piss our gods off or don’t please them, they’re allowed to discard us like a broken item. Gods can even cycle through us one after another until they’ve found the perfect tool to fit their current needs. And when you’re done, you can throw us away until you’re ready to use us again. Or left to wander for someone else to maybe pick up before we fade away into nothing.

And we have no choice but to come when you call us whether we want to or not. Because we’re nothing without you. We’re valuable possessions to keep close or useful but expendable objects to get the job done.

I don’t know if all gods are aware of this; I know the shinki aren’t. Gods can even steal shinki from another god without asking. Force a new name upon us and give us a new form and power. And if we’re stubborn, apparently blackmail and threats are just as effective. Or you can simply hurt us until we break or get rid of us because we’re not working as you want. Like we’re some kind of toy for your amusement.

We’re told we’re entering a partnership with our gods, but in reality, it only goes one way. We have to choose between vanishing or living as a weapon, companion, prize, tool, whatever, for a god we don’t even know.

If you’re a shinki, think about this. If you’re a god, ask yourself why you have a shinki.


[A video feed flicks on. A full moon glows yellow in the sky above, encircled by spiraling clouds. The edge of a sakura tree billows pink and gentle at one side of the screen, releasing ghost-light sakura petals into the winds that carry them away. It’s silent, some for himself to gather his thoughts, some for letting whoever’s listening to him think. Maybe it is rambling, but the experience he went through…]

So what are our rights? Does anyone want to tell me how this is supposed to work?

All of this may not be something some of you gods care about.

But the shinki should know.

[His is a quiet voice, deep like the dark waters far below the surface of the sea.]

I’m aware I’m probably a rare case; most of the gods I’ve met seem decent. Some of you say you’d never act like I’ve described or think like this towards a shinki. That we can trust you. But we don’t know you. So how can we trust you? Ultimately we have to trust our gods because we don’t know anything else. Whether you use that to your advantage or not is up to you.

It’s a disgusting feeling to know you’re powerless against someone else. I can be stolen and wielded by any god who wants me, regardless of how I feel about it. And if I don’t want that, I have to eternally stick by my Master’s side like a frightened child. We’re not free; we can’t even rely on ourselves because our powers, beyond the borderline, is useless unless directed by a god. I didn’t want this, I don’t know if any shinki does.

[A quiet breath seeps backwards above the screen and the edge of a shirt sleeve flutters into view on one side of the screen. Sousuke’s leaning against the wall beside the window, not in sight, but obviously here if someone feels like talking.]

And if any of you gods haven’t yet learned how to track or trace your shinki, you should start working on that now. Otherwise you're going to find yourself out a useful tool for a while simply because some other god wants to do something different for a change.

Comments

[pure_radiantics]

Do?

[What an odd question.]

I dunno. Maybe have a slumber party? Form a club ball game group? I'm sure we can find something to do.

Re: text

[takenwithhim]

[Hold up a second. He has to read that twice before responding.]

That's the law. You've been stealing things?

[Even if they aren't really noticed by those living in the Near Shore, that doesn't mean they should go robbing them! Granted, he's still not sure how "money" is supposed to work here, but...]

[takenwithhim]

I see.

[Well, it's not his place to judge that so he holds his tongue. Their views don't match up completely.]

Do what you like then. They're your friends.

[lilys_poise]

That's a good point.

[Mollified since he's agreeing with her, Elise smiles.]

I guess we'll just have to be stubborn together.

[takenwithhim]

[At the moment, the two of them are going to guilt themselves into circles trying to silently joust over who was forcing who into doing what. They had their own thoughts about who was to blame, their own opinions as to who was sacrificing himself for the other. Sousuke knew just how stubborn his god and he were, so arguing over the issue wasn’t going to get either of them anywhere. At the moment, all he could do was apologize and try to help remove the blight from Rin before it got any worse between them. But honestly, Rin should know by now that if Sousuke doesn’t want to do something, he isn’t going to do it.

He can’t feel the spot that Rin’s indicated, but he knows it must hurt. Sousuke pushes the thought from his head and tries to control his feelings. No, feeling that way will only make it worse for Rin. They have to accept what happened and move on. Guilting or grudging will only make things worse.]

Maybe. But we can handle that at the pool, right?

[He doesn’t know if the blight can transfer to him, but he doesn’t go touching the area either. Best not to risk it. Sousuke braces himself as Rin adjusts his stance, waiting until he’s ready to move, or at least comfortable enough to travel. There’s a soft, deep breath and a moment later, they’re gone. The world fades around them and drifts in a way he’s always found hard to describe. Only that he knows they’re moving. And then they’re there.

The lights flick on and in a moment, Sousuke finds himself standing in front of the pool. Its blue waters glow upwards amid the dark grounds around it, illuminating the two of them with a mystical, watery bath of light. And instantly, the feelings start again. Revulsion and panic slam into his chest so hard, his heart begins to hammer against his ribs. Teal eyes widen, staring at the water as it laps within the pool. Fear and something ominous and threatening claws at his chest and mind. Telling him to leave, to get out of there--]

Rin!

[All of that vanishes in an instant when he feels Rin slump and Sousuke swings his head to look at his god, concern dilating his eyes. Is he unconscious, can he hear him?] Oy. Rin. [He reaches around with his other arm, catching onto Rin’s shoulder and holding him. For a moment, he hesitates, but then shifts his body. And picks the other boy clean off the ground, one arm around his upper back, the other cupping under his knees. He’s carrying him like this; deal with it.]

Which one has the holy water?

[takenwithhim]

[Hard not to agree with her, even if logic says what they're agreeing on is false.

They are people, right, but despite what they say, they're shinki and tools of the gods all the same.]

The gods have a lot of deciding to do about this.

text 1/3

[latentforlife]

Oh.

[Okay, so that's not something he's thought about until just now.]

text 2/3

[latentforlife]

So. About that.

text 3/3

[latentforlife]

Would you mind helping me find a way to get money so I can pay some places back?

Private

[risetocaesar]

Sanada Akihiko.

[May as well slip that introduction in there, right?]

LOOK he wants to be free.... (seriously tho...) also 10 years later orz

[ephydriade]

[ maybe other shinki would have been happy with Makoto... Haru, however, is a "special snowflake". mostly in the sense that he's not impressed that easily, and his first impression of Makoto was far from positive. their relationship hasn't been entirely stellar, and while it seemed tame briefly and even showed signs of moving upwards at one point, it all came crashing back down in the blink of an eye.

he wants answers. a reason why he should be okay with being forced to be someone's shinki. but instead he's been given empty answers and restraint and he's not happy one bit. he wonders if anyone would be happy if they were in this sort of predicament, really. considering how Sousuke is questioning everything at the moment, he's assuming no one (in their right mind, at least) would.

at the mention of fighting against the gods, Haru's fist clenches. he's not a fighter. just the thought of it is far from appealing to him. so that's pretty much a dead end. he heaves an annoyed sigh at the second part. ]

... I guess I'll just keep my distance for now.

*biggest face palm*

[takenwithhim]

You...

[This guy's serious. He's not sure if realizing that is better or worse. A heavy sigh and Sousuke rubs at the back of his neck. Honestly...]

That was kind of why I was asking you. I don't know how to "get money" either.

[As he's said, his god supplies him with clothes and such.]

I think gods make some money when the Near Shore people leave offerings...

Re: Private

[takenwithhim]

I'll see you around then.

[Might as well.]

[pure_radiantics]

Well... you asked what I would do with a bunch of my friends - as a group, I thought.

[Seems best to explain that.]

If I'm hanging out with them individually, it would be a lot different.

So does he! He's just not as rude... (hmph)

[takenwithhim]

[What shinki indeed would be happy with this life if they actually thought about it for more than a few seconds? Sure, the alternative to serving a god was to wander around forever or eventually fade away into nothing, either by time or being consumed by an ayakashi or even turning into one of those monsters in the first place. So a horrible end versus serving a god and relying on that god for life in basically every format. They have a great set of options there…

Of course he’s going to question everything about that. Even if Sousuke’s quietly, reluctantly working alongside the rules because he’d rather not die (again), he remains skeptical, not wanting to simply roll over and take it. Especially since he’s had such a violation dragged across him without his want. Answers, reasons, all those things will have to come in time. For now, he at least wants to make a statement, get people thinking… and then deal with the inevitable fallout.

His relationship with Rin is a strange thing; as he’s told people before, he has no ill will towards Rin as a person (sure he’s a little weird sometimes). But the principle of their relationship, Sousuke’s pride, Rin’s frustrations, the silence between them in forgotten memories and dangerous answers, all of it makes that partnership a strained thing that’s trying to fight its way upstream if it wants to have some semblance of positive.

Haru’s answer is expected and final.]

As much as you can. We’ll see if this wakes anyone up or gets changes…

[lilys_poise]

Well, yeah. But... so do we. Right?

[The shinkis' opinions of themselves are just as important as the gods' opinions.]

Maybe we should make that club.

[dominatriarch]

An advanced technique like that will require further training.

[ She isn't one to talk about shinki magic. While she knows what shinki are capable of, she won't be able to teach it properly.

But thankfully there's someone she knows who can. ]

Speak to my exemplar, Kazuma. He'll know best how to advise you.

[sharkmaid]

[At this moment in time, Rin isn't sure who or what he's supposed to believe and whether or not it would be morally right to do so. Ever since arriving here, he's been at war with himself. His sense of justice, his pride, morale, and emotions. Just because he believes certain practices and laws are wrong in this world, doesn't mean they actually are by the higher ups' standards. He can fight and argue and disagree with everything as much as he wants... and in the end this will be the result. This awful sting, the agonizing weight within his chest.

Is any of the pain truly worth it?

Rin doesn't respond to Sousuke's question, because once they're moving through time and space, funny enough, there's no time to form a proper response. In an instant, they've arrived, and in an instant the walls seem to be shrinking in on them, tighter and tighter with each suffocating sensation Sousuke feels. Revulsion, panic, distrust. He wants to leave, he has to leave, and if he doesn't--

Were he more experienced with this, he might be able to stand on his own two feet. He might be able to speak clearly, normally, and casually walk himself to the water source without his shinki's assistance. But he's brand new and he's terrified and truth be told, the moment Sousuke catches onto his shoulder, Rin has to bite back a startled yell. He's still a human under all of this, a human that's telling him he's going to die if they don't fix this quick. So... it's probably for the best that Sousuke takes action when he does, hoisting him up off the ground quick enough to make Rin's head spin.]

I'm fine, I'm fine... Oy...

[He'd complain more about this, but it's hard to concentrate when all he wants to do is keep adding pressure to his neck. Still, somehow he cracks one eye open and slowly gestures across the room to where a door leads to another, much smaller room inside. He should have teleported them in there to begin with, but, again. New to this. The pool was the first thing on his mind.]

[takenwithhim]

A few people have said similar on here. I'll do what I have to to get stronger.

[Because he doesn't want to be in this situation again. He wants to protect himself, protect his god, and not be anyone's tool so much as he can help it.

The mention of a name earns a glance of interest and recognition.]

I've heard of him before as well. Is there anything I should know about him or should I just send him a message?

[takenwithhim]

I don't know, really. What they decide goes.

[That's pessimistic, he knows, but it's also reality as far as Sousuke understands it right now, agree with it or not.]

Unless we want to revolt or something.

[Afterthought. The mention of the club again earns a nod even if she can't see it.]

Aa. It's a good idea.

[takenwithhim]

[He did ask. But he's being touchy right now so he's not going to be chit-chatty about other people's friends plans.

Grumpy shark. Sorry.]

Of course. What you do in a group is different than what you do alone.

Friends are no different.

[takenwithhim]

[Sousuke expects the silence. Both of them are dealing with things that they’ve probably never dealt with before. Even with all his talk about shinki being tools and servants, in the harsh reality of things, the gods, most of them, are just as much pawns to whoever is running this place as the shinki that serve them. Sousuke isn’t sure what he’s expected to do or what’s expected of him. Rin has his own expectations of him (or “wants” at least), other shinki think one way, other gods think another, all of them probably not thinking what the ones overseeing all of this are thinking. It’s simply a confusing mess that neither of them asked for and now havet to deal with.

However, all Sousuke cares about right now, however, is stopping Rin’s pain. That much is clear.

It even trumps the reaction he has to the pool. With Rin’s attempted reassurances that he’s fine (he’s not), Sousuke at least is able to stand by him. And contend with himself. The water remains to their side, glowing gently, and he once more feels the mixture of revulsion and allure. As much as he wants to leave this room and never come back, he likewise wants to take a running dive right into the waters and stay there until he’s completely sated. It’s a strange feeling and he has no idea why he’d even feel such ways towards a pool. But he does… and it bothers him in the back of his mind.

Feeling the tension in Rin’s shoulders reminds him of why he’s here and Sousuke pulls his gaze from the pool, returns it to where it’s supposed to be: Rin. He feels like apologizing for the slight scare, but considering his god’s response to his earlier apology… he’ll skip it. It’s not only Sousuke who’s feeling bad right now. After all, Rin’s still human despite being a god. Right? Just like Rin’s always told Sousuke. So he makes his move, picking the other boy up whether he likes it or not and turns his back to the pool. The warmth pressing to his chest is comforting and he wonders if he’ll actually carry Rin longer than he should… A fleeting thought, but one none the less.]

Aa.

[Sure, sure he’s fine. “Fine” and dandy. Sousuke doesn’t believe it for a moment and moves forward, following Rin’s gesture instead. Across the room, into a small door where another room opens in front of him. For a moment, he stands still, staring at the room in a mixture of surprise and amusement. He’d seen the door before, but they’d not stayed down here long enough to explore (because of him). Now, he’s through the door and… well…]

You really are a romantic.

[Because look at this room. Petals and all. Sousuke quietly closes the door behind him with a catch of his foot and ankle, blocking out the sight of the pool. It might help him… and thus help Rin by proxy. Moving forward, Sousuke stops in front of the pool and looks down at Rin. His god… Without waiting to ask, Sousuke simply walks forward and steps into the small pool. Doesn’t even give himself time to think about the water or the pool. Focused only on Rin and Rin alone. And that comforts him far more than anything else.]

Here…

[And slowly lowers down, sinking until Rin’s body up to his chin is submerged in the water.]

Gray morals ftw

[latentforlife]

[Yup, this is going to be a challenge for Shuusei.]

I can ask her for some money to pay them back, other than that maybe I can look around and see what I can do for work. Maybe respond to one time ads or something.

Private

[risetocaesar]

Yeah. Take care until then.

oi vey

[takenwithhim]

[Unfortunately they're both a little underinformed about all this right now. Sousuke'd like to pay for his own things without relying on Rin as well, but...

How?]

I think it's a little too late right now. But if you want, fine.

It's going to be hard to hold a job if no one really sees us. It has to be in the Near Shore, right?