thefarshore | Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

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Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

Posted: May 21st
From: Sousuke Yamazaki

What are shinki?

I’ve not been here long, so I don’t know the truth. Apparently no shinki can. But I’ve experienced enough.

I don’t like it.

We’re shinki. We weren’t told anything upon our arrival. All we knew is that we’re dead and know nothing else. Other shinki probably had the same experience I did: stumble around until someone told me I had to find a god or something before something bad happened to me. We have to rely on whatever our gods tell us as the truth. We’re told we’re supposed to help our gods with their duties and wants and protect them or fight for them. We can’t exist without you; gods give us form and prevent us from fading away. We have to depend on you to survive.

So what are we to you?

I have a god. A Master. He tells me that I’m human more than I’m his shinki. I don’t know if I believe him entirely.

Not all Masters are like that, are they. Some don’t care what a shinki feels. I guess that’s not far from the truth though. After all, shinki are really nothing more than tools to gods. Gods can pick us up simply because they want something from us. Maybe you feel good having us at your side because you think we remind you of something. Maybe you want us because we’re useful to you or you like our looks or fit your fighting style or powers.

But if it doesn’t work out, if we piss our gods off or don’t please them, they’re allowed to discard us like a broken item. Gods can even cycle through us one after another until they’ve found the perfect tool to fit their current needs. And when you’re done, you can throw us away until you’re ready to use us again. Or left to wander for someone else to maybe pick up before we fade away into nothing.

And we have no choice but to come when you call us whether we want to or not. Because we’re nothing without you. We’re valuable possessions to keep close or useful but expendable objects to get the job done.

I don’t know if all gods are aware of this; I know the shinki aren’t. Gods can even steal shinki from another god without asking. Force a new name upon us and give us a new form and power. And if we’re stubborn, apparently blackmail and threats are just as effective. Or you can simply hurt us until we break or get rid of us because we’re not working as you want. Like we’re some kind of toy for your amusement.

We’re told we’re entering a partnership with our gods, but in reality, it only goes one way. We have to choose between vanishing or living as a weapon, companion, prize, tool, whatever, for a god we don’t even know.

If you’re a shinki, think about this. If you’re a god, ask yourself why you have a shinki.

[A video feed flicks on. A full moon glows yellow in the sky above, encircled by spiraling clouds. The edge of a sakura tree billows pink and gentle at one side of the screen, releasing ghost-light sakura petals into the winds that carry them away. It’s silent, some for himself to gather his thoughts, some for letting whoever’s listening to him think. Maybe it is rambling, but the experience he went through…]

So what are our rights? Does anyone want to tell me how this is supposed to work?

All of this may not be something some of you gods care about.

But the shinki should know.

[His is a quiet voice, deep like the dark waters far below the surface of the sea.]

I’m aware I’m probably a rare case; most of the gods I’ve met seem decent. Some of you say you’d never act like I’ve described or think like this towards a shinki. That we can trust you. But we don’t know you. So how can we trust you? Ultimately we have to trust our gods because we don’t know anything else. Whether you use that to your advantage or not is up to you.

It’s a disgusting feeling to know you’re powerless against someone else. I can be stolen and wielded by any god who wants me, regardless of how I feel about it. And if I don’t want that, I have to eternally stick by my Master’s side like a frightened child. We’re not free; we can’t even rely on ourselves because our powers, beyond the borderline, is useless unless directed by a god. I didn’t want this, I don’t know if any shinki does.

[A quiet breath seeps backwards above the screen and the edge of a shirt sleeve flutters into view on one side of the screen. Sousuke’s leaning against the wall beside the window, not in sight, but obviously here if someone feels like talking.]

And if any of you gods haven’t yet learned how to track or trace your shinki, you should start working on that now. Otherwise you're going to find yourself out a useful tool for a while simply because some other god wants to do something different for a change.

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Sometimes it's surprising just how much an apology can do. It can go a long way.

We can look into it later.

Aa. It's not a bad idea. [He's just not a social guy.]

[Hn. You get excited over the simplest things, Goten! Not that that’s a bad thing; it usually ends up amusing (or flustering) Sousuke regardless. He snorts a little at the chatter about it and then glances to the side in some awkwardness at the mention of Rin and he being together.]

Oy. We’re not going to live in a tree. That’s way too fantasy even for him. I think. [Had to add that one.] You seem like the guy that’d live in the clouds if you could.

[That last part’s slightly pouty since Goten’s obviously over there laughing it up at his expense. He does think about the idea though. Living in a huge tree with Rin. Actually, Rin might find that rather interesting, but still, Sousuke doubts either he or his god would ultimately want to live in that kind of thing. The castle with its sakura grove and the gymnasium and pool beneath seems fitting enough in his head. Great, now he’s sure Goten’s stamped the image of sakura as synonymous with Sousuke and Rin from now on--]

Goten! [That one’s definitely more flustered and he stares at the device screen.] Cut it out…

[He mumbles the second part. Of course Goten’s just teasing him and means it in good spirits. But still, Sousuke’s embarrassed about it because flowers are girly and that’s definitely not up his alley, right? Even if he has to admit he does like the sakura. Not as much as Rin (or maybe even because of Rin). Geeze, this is going to be a hard image to shake. He’s glad they switch subjects.]

You can fly around the near shore too?

[Well, he should expect that, since their powers work in both places. So he shuts up and waives the question off with a soft ‘nevermind’ before settling in on for the answer.] Big, hn. [So it’s a lot larger than he’s probably thinking if Goten still calls it ‘big’ from way up there. He blinks for a second and stares at the screen.] You’ve flown around the whole world? [That’s impossible! Unless the world is actually really small… The rest of it sounds rather confusing and he frowns a bit in response. That… makes sense and doesn’t at the same time. What’s higher than the realm of the gods?]

There's not much of the day left.

[Since it's night right now, the moon out shining in full force amid the breeze of sakura petals. He knows his night's definitely not over either. He has... some repairing to do too.]

I'll try to make things right. He's always helped me. I appreciate that.

For sure.

And all right. Feel free to call me up whenever, okay?

[If nothing else, he can get free food.]

[He's right. She knows he is.]

That's definitely not.... not true at all!

[But Elise is stubborn. And she's not ready to face this particular uncomfortable truth yet.]people.

Aa. I'll call you.

[Or he'd just show up to the practice without any word. Who knows with him?]

[He doesn't want to be right about this, but logically...]

Oy, are you protesting because you believe that or are you just being stubborn?

[There's a bit of a difference if she's just in denial of something she really, albeit unfortunately, believes in.]

I am not stubborn!

[She says while pouting stubbornly. Bastion of maturity over here.]

No matter what anybody thinks of us, we're still people.

[Oh that's convincing. It's nice to see that stubbornness though; they're going to need it if the shinki are going to have a chance at improving their status with the gods. So he thinks at least.]

You sound stubborn right now.

[That's not a nettle, nope.]

Aa. Dead people, but people.

Well it's still something.

[She doesn't want to say 'it can only go up from here' and jynx it.]

I'll be waiting.

[Who knows. He'll get teased about it, maybe.]

See you later.

Ja ne.

[This one's an... interesting meeting. He has a lot to think on.]

Aa.

[Right, best not to play with fate's design (says the guy who's attempted to outright reject and deny fate... and doesn't remember a moment of it).]

What will you do with all those friends you're going to make?

You're the one who's stubborn!

[So there.]

And it doesn't matter if we're dead. That doesn't make us any less... us.

[Wow. How can he argue that? It's true.]

Aa. You're right.

[Even if they don't remember anything.]

It's good to be stubborn sometimes.

Good luck. I'll let you go, but I really hope it goes well.

[After this mess settles, then they can come back and discuss whatever they want, assuming they don't pass out first. As it is, Rin doesn't want to potentially aggravate any more pain for either of them with reckless conversation, so he keeps quiet to get this over with as soon as possible. They'll come to terms. Eventually. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

But first they'll have to tackle this unfortunate hurdle.

He meets that gaze with one of his own, and though he seems exhausted he's managing to keep his eyes open and even take a couple steps to follow behind. The last time they saw the pool, their experience was awful, to say the least, but avoiding the problem won't do them any good and they can't afford to look for another source of holy water on such short notice. Sousuke needs Rin to be at his best. He needs to be able to fight with him and protect him if need be. He's in no condition to do either of those things now.]

I can teleport us there.

[Might take him a moment to focus, but he can try.]

Just give me a second.

I just kind of walk in and pick up a few things. No one really pays us any mind.

[He hasn't really thought twice about it.]

Aa. Same.

Yamazaki Sousuke. [Since he's had yet to introduce himself. Might as well at the very end.]

[Okay so that had been a stupid question. Like asking how someone knew how to cook.]

I meant the money. You pay for things, right?

[There’s a lot that can come “after” this. A lot that will. Sousuke’s apologized and now he’s confronting Rin’s blight and his own guilt. But beyond that., there’s the entire future sitting in front of them. He’s always known that Rin’s cared for him. But it’s not really punched through his stubborn mind until now. He’s seen just how much it hurts him to see Sousuke’s suffering, how much it hurts Rin to have Sousuke reject him… and how much it hurts himself to see Rin in pain. It’s uncomfortable and painful and he doesn’t want to ever see it again. And he’s not talking about the blight…

Sousuke quietly keeps his gaze on Rin’s, waiting for him to accept and move. They can talk about more of this later. They might not even get to it tonight. Maybe they’ll argue tomorrow or the next day about it. That’s fine. So long as right now, Sousuke’s able to absolve Rin of the pain he’s suffering under. They can move forward after that. Soon. Sousuke wants that… He wants to move forward now. Wants to actually try to trust Rin of his own accord now. It’s been a rude wake up call, but the truth is staring him in the face plain as day now.

Maybe confronting the pool in some way mirrors whatever the two of them are confronting in each other. He nods at the mention of teleporting, but seeing Rin’s attempt to focus and balance…]

Aa. [Sousuke steps back into the room, moving to his god’s side. And silently takes one of Rin’s arms and loops it over his shoulders and the back of his neck. Let me be your strength.] Lean on me.

[For as much as Rin wants their partnership to work out, he doesn't want to force Sousuke to accept it or even ease into it if his heart truly tells him not to. It's why he's upset things ended up this way, with Sousuke approaching him first to apologize and now standing here with guilt in his heart. He feels as if he's forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do. Maybe he didn't want to see him tonight. Maybe he didn't want to speak to him or associate with him ever again. And now here he is, moving forward, calling him his friend...

He doesn't want to see him this way again either.

Rin's about to make his way over to Sousuke's side when his shinki does the work for him and to his surprise even takes his arm to loop it over his shoulders.]

Hey. Careful. It might hurt you too.

[The spot burns and tingles, and no matter if it's small or not, he doesn't want to risk blighting Sousuke by mistake. He doesn't expect him to let up or change his mind though, so after taking a second to more evenly distribute his weight he takes a deep breath then channels some of his energy towards his core. Now let's see. What did it look like? Where is it in relation to them? Another second, another image-- Now.

Gripping onto Sousuke's shirt, Rin sends them both drifting through time and space and in no time at all they're back on their feet, only this time with the scent of chlorine lingering in the air. It's still dark, but with the god's presence the lights in the water flicker to life to bathe the large room with a pale blue hue. He's sure it's beautiful. A sight he's missed and been away from for far too long.

But as soon as they arrive, Rin slumps forward, head hung, and reaches up to touch the tender skin on his neck while the sting persists. It's almost like being cut.]

[It wasn't a dumb question so much as Shuusei didn't quite catch on to the issue here until that second question.]

Are we supposed to?

[It's hard to portray in text, but that's an honest question from Shuusei. He knows how money works but it never even occurred to him to try and pay for things. He's starting to wonder why that is.]

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Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

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