Un ♫ Heaven's BBS: Text

[galactically]

Posted: 17 Mar 2016 12:49 PM
From: Sheryl

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Attention, everyone! Stop whatever you're doing right now because this is 10x more important! Consider this a special PSA from Sheryl Nome.

Chocolates are supposed to be a symbol of love and commitment, right? That's what I always believed. Before arriving here, I learned they come in two forms:
a gift between two lovers, or romantic chocolate
a gift between two friends, or courtesy chocolate

But now I learned there is a third form: chocolate assigned to us for delivery by a group of the most unprofessional, incompetent idiots!

Recently I asked that same group of idiots a few questions about a certain incident. Why was there no warning labels on these chocolates? Why were the people who ate them suddenly the targets of these ugly monsters?

Do you want to know what they said? I'll summarize that for you in three words: "we didn't know."

????????

Who the hell do they think they're talking to?! I can't take this level of idiocy!

Comments

[turpitude]

A party! I imagine such a thing would liven this place up, no doubt.

[galactically]

it was like being whisked away to a surprise vacation! there was even delicious food and drinks for us to take

[turpitude]

That seems more delightful than anything I've seen here yet! Perhaps this world is not so terrible as I thought it.

[galactically]

it's not really TOO bad, once you disregard the lame higher-ups. the people i've met makes staying here totally worth it

[turpitude]

I've run into more than my share of terribly rude individuals, but if there are more like you, I daresay I shall enjoy my time here!

[galactically]

well, there's no one quite like I, Sheryl Nome, but thanks for the vote of confidence!

don't even remind me of the obnoxious individuals! there's this guy i met who i swear is a total psychopath

[turpitude]

You're quite welcome! I can tell, we shall be the best of friends.

Why, I met someone rather like that! He kept saying how delightful murder is, and it was absolutely awful!

[galactically]

oh, no... does this guy have light hair and a creepy smile over his face?

[turpitude]

I am not quite certain! I spoke to him only over this BBS.

[galactically]

well at least you didn't have to meet him in person! i saw this man who keeps talking about people getting killed like it's the best thing ever. he even expects me to join in the bloodshed!

the tackiest man ever, i swear!

[turpitude]

Why, I do believe we spoke to the same person, unless there are several bloodthirsty men here! I certainly hope that is not the case, but I shall steer clear of men with frightening smiles and light hair as much as I can.

[galactically]

if there are any more like this man, i'll have to stay as far away from them as possible! but yes, do steer clear of that person

... actually, if you ever do bump into him, feel free to punish him socially and biologically!

[turpitude]

I can understand socially, but I'm afraid I do not quite understand what you mean by "biologically"!

[galactically]

the traditional way of dealing with senseless perversion: you slap them away

[turpitude]

[ If Sheryl could see the look on Pippa's face now... ]

Must we really resort to violence, Miss Sheryl?

[ Except she's one hundred percent on board with that idea. ]

[galactically]

it works if they're too stubborn to be swayed by words alone!

[SHERYL PLS]

[turpitude]

I've certainly encountered more than my fair share of stubborn men, but never before had I truly thought about punishing them biologically!

It is certainly worth a try. Thank you very much!

[galactically]

i've dealt with several men who don't know the phrase "they can look, but they can't touch." sometimes they need to be taught a hard lesson

you're very welcome, Pippa!

[turpitude]

If that is not rude, then I'm not sure what is! I shall keep it in mind.

[galactically]

right? i'm so glad you understand ☆