Heaven's BBS | video

[incendiarism]

Posted: April 26th
From: Xuanwu

[Have a video, people of the Far Shore, because typing this out would take too long. Judar is patient enough to do his make-up for this, but not enough to keep typing out every single response.]

My shinki is broke or something. She keeps leaking her feelings everywhere. Somebody tell me how to get her to shut it off.

[He gestures to the girl next to him, who looks incredibly uncomfortable with the topic. Apparently, his patience doesn’t extend to his shinki, either… A single day of knowing how she feels was enough to sink that ship.]

I’m not dealing with this every day!

[Jennifer glances to Judar, her expression apologetic.] I-- I'm sorry. I really will try to do better...

[Someone, please help what is possibly the worst god-shinki match in history avoid blighting each other.]

((OOC: Both Judar and Jennifer will be responding!))

Comments

[theunluckygirl]

It's strange, but... I'm more anxious if someone treats me kindly. When he acts like this, it feels... [She pauses, trailing off and staring into her lap. Not right. Right doesn't feel like the word, but--]

Familiar...? I think this-- a role like this, must be something I'm suited for. So, maybe it's fine... ["Maybe I'm always supposed to be treated this way, so it's okay," more or less.]

[koukai_kirai]

[When he's talking to her, his expression softens a little... but frankly, not all that much.]

Just because something happens all the time doesn't mean it's acceptable, much less "fine".

And as a shinki, you have a duty, too. If you enable this kind of childish behavior for him, what kind of god do you think he's going to become?

[Being a god is new to him, but he knows all about duty.]

[theunluckygirl]

[Jennifer looks surprised-- that's right, she was supposed to be a guide of sorts, right? The exemplar?]

You're right, of course. I can't forget that. [but what is confidence?? She glances nervously off] He's just much stronger than I am... [And frankly, he scares her. Jennifer resembles more a beaten puppy than someone that a person like Judar (or really, anyone?) would actually listen to.]

I just... have to be better... [Somehow. She sighs a little--it's easier said than done, unfortunately.] Maybe the Heavens made a mistake.

[koukai_kirai]

[He watches her with a rather difficult to read expression. He's never thought much of himself in a certain sense -- never felt like he was doing enough, rarely even felt like a good person -- but he's never really had much trouble believing in his strength and effectiveness. He can understand self-hatred, but a total lack of confidence is a completely foreign perspective to him.]

...What's his strength going to mean, with nothing to guide it? Don't underestimate how important you are.

[theunluckygirl]

[She looks utterly shocked and even looks around like she's trying to make sure he's talking to the right person. No one's ever called her important before (not even in her living life which, granted, she couldn't remember, but still, the fact that even without those memories she's so baffled by this idea means something still).]

Me? But, I-- I'm nothing-- [She says it without even thinking and then winces, looking away.] Ah, I mean...

[That's the last thing he'd want to hear, she imagines and she hesitates as she tries to figure out how to salvage the situation. What would he like to hear most? What can she say to turn this around and make everyone happy?] I'll work on it, I promise. Thank yo, Mister-- Um...? [SHe doesn't even know his name help]

[koukai_kirai]

[For a moment, he's confused, because he almost feels... angry? Upset. (Angry.)]

[Why? Because she's being so slow to understand why anyone would value her, even though she seems nothing but kind. She won't listen to what he's trying to tell her, can't believe in herself enough to see how needed she is, how important -- ]

[Oh.]

[Oh, that's what hurts.]

[It only shows as a series of momentary flashes in his eyes -- frustration, confusion, realization, pain, something like sympathy or regret mixed with all of the above -- and then he gets it under wraps completely, putting up a collected, strong front.]

Hijikata. Hachiman, as a god.

[What can he say?]

[What should someone have told Sannan?]

...You're still just getting to know yourself. Don't be so quick to write yourself off.

[theunluckygirl]

Pleased to meet you, sir. [She'd curtsy but she's sitting down, so she dips her head instead.] My name is Jennifer. I'm-- A shinki. Obviously. [She looks embarrassed because duh she's a shinki, but she feels like she should be formal especially when talking to a god.

His words leave her openly surprised, like no one had ever told her those words before--and maybe they hadn't. How does she react?]

...Thank you. [There's real gratitude there and she relaxes a little, smiling slightly. It's a little sad almost how she reacts to even a little bit of positive reinforcement and praise.] Your shinki must be very lucky to have you.

[koukai_kirai]

[He gives a very slight incline of his head in reply. At the mention of his own shinki, his usual stern expression softens slightly.]

My shinki is very generous in his opinion of me.

[He thinks, looking at it now, that they've both spent half their lives with each convinced that they're the lucky one.]

[It's not the worst way two people could think about each other.]

[theunluckygirl]

That's good, isn't it? He must care about you a lot, and you must take very good care of im in turn.

[Jennifer smiles a little more, and then abruptly looks concerned] I, um... I hope that wasn't presumptuous to say. I'm sorry.

[koukai_kirai]

[Now the sheer volume of apologies is reminding him less of Sannan and more of Ichimura's brother -- nervous, fainthearted, meek...]

[(Ready to snap.)]

It wasn't. I've been fortunate to have him assigned to me, there's nothing wrong with pointing that out.