Heaven's BBS | Text

[punchpass]

Posted: 19 April 2016
From: Kuroko Tetsuya

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[This text post goes up a few hours after the aftermath of Sho trashing heaven settled down. The author, however, has no idea what is going on.]

If, hypothetically, one were to explore their god's temple, which is actually a series of linked caves and get lost, how would one get out?

I need an answer because this is not hypothetical. I am actually stuck down here and require assistance.

[There is a picture below this of Kuroko taking a usual stone-faced selfie with the flash illuminating him eerily. It's clear he's somewhere dark and underground.]

Despite that, my surroundings are fascinating. I have no idea how far these caves go, or if any local flora or fauna grow here. There is also surprisingly good cell signal.

Comments

[slantedcross]

If you direct this at enough gods, it probably still counts.

Do people make a habit of going down there? I'm still finding my way around the place in general. Can you think of anyone specific who might know the way?

[punchpass]

I don't want to disturb any of the gods with such a dumb request though. They have actual people in distress to take care of.

As for people coming down here, I think I'm the first one. I wandered into these caves partly to see what they were like; not even Arikado-sama knows the way.

[slantedcross]

It's a rare person who finds saving themselves dumb. I suppose there's something commendable about it.

Maybe you can write up a report to save others the fun you're having.

[punchpass]

I sense a note of sarcasm in that.

It is also not very fun down here. There is not much to report. Unless you like rocks?

[slantedcross]

The lack of oxygen isn't affecting your perception, then. That's a relief. Let me know if you wish to test it again.

I'm not a fan. What were you expecting down there? Or do you just like rocks yourself?

[punchpass]

[Kuroko was just going to ignore the sarcasm now. He was very good at that.]

Rocks are kind of cool, but I like animals myself. I was hoping they may have been a strange creature or even buried treasure back here.

[slantedcross]

You would think a place full of gods and their servants wouldn't need buried treasure... but I suppose that just proves how human they all are.

What were you planning to do when you met this strange creature? Take a picture?

[punchpass]

It's more the discovery of something new and unknown that probably fuels most humans. I am rather curious for my own good.

And yes, I probably would have taken a picture so I could show everyone. Unfortunately I haven't met another living soul in here.

[slantedcross]

I suppose you could take pictures of the rock formations... there's got to be a god of geology and sediments lying around...

If you're aware, I suppose that's half the battle. I like a good mystery, myself, but nothing quite so natural.

[punchpass]

Rocks are cool, but not as cool as basketball. To be honest, I'm just trying to find a way to occupy myself until someone is able to find me.

I seem to be a big fan of mystery as well, even if I can't remember much. Reading mystery novels at least, seems to be fun.

[slantedcross]

Sorry, can't talk to you about basketball... but next time you know to bring one along? I only sort of know soccer, and only because one of my coworkers could go on and on about it.

I have a weakness for the pulpy stuff. The 1940s P.I. aesthetic. If you haven't read Chandler yet, that would be my recommendation.