thefarshore | Heaven's BBS

Heaven's BBS | Text

Posted: 19 April 2016
From: Kuroko Tetsuya

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[This text post goes up a few hours after the aftermath of Sho trashing heaven settled down. The author, however, has no idea what is going on.]

If, hypothetically, one were to explore their god's temple, which is actually a series of linked caves and get lost, how would one get out?

I need an answer because this is not hypothetical. I am actually stuck down here and require assistance.

[There is a picture below this of Kuroko taking a usual stone-faced selfie with the flash illuminating him eerily. It's clear he's somewhere dark and underground.]

Despite that, my surroundings are fascinating. I have no idea how far these caves go, or if any local flora or fauna grow here. There is also surprisingly good cell signal.

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uhh kuroko...? on a scale of 1 to 10 how lost are you?

With 10 being I believe I have accidentally wandered into hell.....about a 12.

[..............OH NO.]

okay next important question

do you like peanut butter and jam sandwiches?

I suppose, though not as much as vanilla milkshakes.

[??????????????????]

~~great because that's all i can make~~ got it.

DON'T MOVE i'm on my way, buddy!

[Sora's been down there once before, how bad can it be?????????]

Sora-sama, please don't get lost as well. That won't help anyone.

[Look, he liked the guy, but.....Sora didn't exactly strike him as the most responsible individual when it came to these things. Hey, at least maybe he won't be alone.]

ehhhh it can't be any worse than the last underworld i walked around in. Just hang tight!

I really should question why you've been inside another underworld besides this one.

[But hey, he'll still be here. It's not like he can go anywhere right now.]

[After some time gathering sandwiches and two milkshakes, Sora teleports himself to the entrance of Arikado's cavernous temple. As usual the tunnel leading down is dark and gloomy, and Sora shivers lightly thinking he's pretty darn glad it's not his temple and that he isn't representing a death god. Poor Kuroko, this place is just too dark and spoopy.

Since he didn't know the tunnels well at all, he decides against using random teleportation to navigate the tunnels. Best to do this on foot. He sets out and sends Kuroko a few more texts.]

i used to go down for fighting tournaments all the time. does arikado do anything like that?

oh, and i got strawberry or vanilla.

oh, and i dibs the vanilla one.

how'd you get lost down here agian?

[As soon as he read the words vanilla and milkshake Kuroko texted back.]

I will commit murder for that vanilla milkshake, Sora-sama.

Arikado-sama never comes down in this direction. I'm not exactly sure what he does besides read. Your underworld sounds much more fun.

[Since this one just seemed to consist of a bunch of caves. It was really not exciting.]

i guess we'll have to fight to the death then, looks like there'll be a fighting tournament down here after all!

[He heads down the first dark corridor he sees. Seeing as Kuroko said Arikado has never gone the way Kuroko went before Sora figures he's got a long ways to go. But wow, the cell reception actually is still in tact.

Also, opportunity knocks. Seize the day.]

ORRRR. if you drop the -sama stuff i'll gladly give it to you? hmm?

Fine, I will call you Sora if you give me the milkshake.

[Why does he have to be so easily manipulated sometimes?

Kuroko decided he was still better off just sitting in place for the time being, until Sora did actually find him.]

I don't like violence, however.

[VICTORY. The next text is instant.]

DEAL!

[With that Sora starts sipping on the strawberry one. Might as well drink a little while he navigates through the tunnels.

After a few moments he stops to look around. Everything looks the same. Rocky cracked paths, cavernous walls and stalactites everywhere. The light echoing of his footsteps all around him. He turns around to look the way he came. It also looks the exact same, just dark and empty.

He pulls out his phone again.]

can you send me another picture of where you are? or describe anything that might be like a landmark or something i can spot?

[Well, it would probably last a couple days at least, until Kuroko used it to extort vanilla milkshakes out of him or something, but he turned the light on his phone off for a little bit to save the battery.

It was very creepy in the cave with barely any light, but somehow Kuroko felt like he was used to not being noticed by things and didn't feel much fear. At least not at first. Checking his phone again he saw the message from Sora.]

I don't believe that will help. It's all rocks. I seem to be in a large circular room right now, but I cross a rather narrow bridge to get here.

[Don't think he wouldn't try to keep it up with multiple milkshake bribes. He'd do it.

Well Kuroko's text isn't much help. He frowns at it and looks both ways down the hall before shrugging. Alright... Maybe he should have made a plan. Not just sandwiches.]

What I wouldn't do for Wan right now. He might be able to sniff Kuroko out or something. Or at least work like a flashlight.

[Talking outloud about his dream eater isn't going to do much though, so he continues down the path looking for this narrow bridge.

He walks...and walks... And then starts looking a little concerned. He texts Kuroko a while later.]

kuroko? you still there?

you weren't kidding when you said all the paths are the same

[Kuroko would be more than happy with multiple bribes: like he wouldn't take advantage of that. But right now, there wasn't much he could do besides wait for his phone to ping with another notification.]

Sora-kun, I told you it was like this. I'm afraid I can't give much more detail than that. Apparently Roronoa-san followed me in here, but he can't figure out how to use the flashlight on his phone.

[Roronoa? Oh, Zoro. Kuroko knows Zoro! Oh... Zoro is lost down here too? That's not good.

He closes his phone again and then shuts his eyes and puts a hand out to point. He spins around three times and then opens his eyes and goes the direction he points.

Really, there's no real rhyme or reason to Sora's directions. Just... looking.

He's lost. It means he's lost.

....Several hours later.]

kuroko i think i'm lost too

[Good job Sora, because Kuroko had actually fallen asleep in that several hours of being lost. And now he was woken up by his phone suddenly vibrating. Rubbing his eyes, it took him a moment to focus on the lights and letters before he was sighing to himself.]

Sora-san, the milkshake won't last if it takes this long to get to me.

Otherwise I'm not sure how to help. That's what you were supposed to be doing.

i'm trying kuroko, I'm trying. it's not my fault it's a freaking maze down here

[Seriously he really is trying. It's not like he wants to get lost in the underworld forever? He lets out a frustrated tired sigh.]

if there are any three headed dog demons down here you better tell me!! is zoro having any better luck?

Unfortunately Roronoa-san seems to be getting even more lost than I am. He does say he hears water though, so that might be a clue.

I haven't seen anything living down here-not even a bug, so I think we are okay.

[Oh Zoro... He thought pirates were supposed to be good at navigating? Guess not. But water is a good tip and he tries to listen to anything nearby that might be water. So far he can't hear anything.

He shivers, this place sure is cold after a while. Must be because it's death tunnels or something.

Sora begins wandering again with not much else to do but look. But soon he comes up to the rocky bridge that Kuroko had mentioned earlier. He perks up instantly.]

kuroko! i think i found that bridge thing!!

[Hearing that, Kuroko actually got up from being slumped down on the ground, hurriedly turning the flashlight on again and waving it around. He didn't hear anything, but it was hard to judge distance in caves.]

Hello?

[Kuroko spoke out loud as he slowly walked forward before texting Sora one more time.]

Sora-sama, can you hear me?

[It's faint but Sora just manages to hear the call and see the glimmer of light. Sora grins happily and breaks into a run for that direction.]

Kuroko! I heard you, are you over there?!

[He's a bit exhausted but this is the best progress he's had in hours!]

[That he definitely heard, and Kuroko ran over to the sound of his friend's voice, nearly colliding with him.]

Sora-sama! I'm glad to see you actually found me.

[His voice was just a little less toneless than normal: being stuck down in a cave with nothing to talk to but his phone did make him a bit emotional.

However he did hold his hands out in case Sora did the same thing and run directly into him.]

[Of course as Kuroko runs to him Sora does the exact same thing. He bounds into Kuroko and grabs him in a rough hug and shakes him like he hasn't seen Kuroko in years and years. He's ecstatic.]

We did it! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Let's get the heck out of here!

[He pauses and lets go of Kuroko after a moment, holding out the milkshake to Kuroko. He finished his hours ago.]

This one ...is a little melted. Oh! We better find Zoro too, then I can teleport us out of here.

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