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[ittenbari]

From: Sakon Shima
Date: April 20

Did you ever find something out about yourself and you're like "oh yeah, that explains a lot" but you don't really know what to do with it once you know it? Like, it's really weird to ask someone about? Or you aren't sure if you should be telling people?

I think this is why shinki aren't supposed to remember stuff. But I guess it's not so different from knowing something all along and not knowing what to do about it? Maybe? I mean, I was kind of unhappy not knowing it and knowing it does at least make that make sense, but I'm not sure it fixed anything?

You get what I'm saying, right?

Comments

text;

[reloves]

Why would it be weird to ask or tell other people about it?

[ Says the girl who literally sent messages to 20 people or so assuming someone she saw for a split second in her memory was her boyfriend. ]

[ittenbari]

It would just be weird! If you've known people for a really long time or something and suddenly it's like "oh hey, here's the most important thing about me" that's really awkward, right?

[reloves]

I don't think so.. All us shinki actually know very little about each other, right? At least history-wise, since none of us can remember anything. So it's not like there's anything already there that could totally contradict anything else!

For all I know, you could've been some super famous circus performer in your life. And I wouldn't judge you at all for that! If anything, it'd be kind of cool.

[ And also something she would not put past Sakon at all, okay. Considering some of the things she's been before. But last time around he helped her, so she means it all in a nice way. ]

[ittenbari]

Hey! I may kinda dress like it, but I definitely wasn't a circus performer!

[reloves]

So that's not your current big and maybe embarrassing secret?

[myblueskies]

No sir. [He doesn't really understand at all. Sakon had remembered something? And now things made more sense but he wasn't sure he should tell people?]

Was it a scary thing you remembered, mister Sakon?

[ittenbari]

Uh.

Well.

I mean.

I didn't think it was scary, but yeah it was pretty scary for someone who's not me.

Probably.

[myblueskies]

Because you're really brave?

[ittenbari]

Kinda, I guess. Or not too smart, maybe. Or both.

Don't have a lot of

what's it called

self preservation. That's for sure.

[myblueskies]

I don't know what that is sir. Miss Hibiki said my sense of self preservation was really low but when I asked her what self presevation was she just said 'A luxury too exclusive for this conversation.'

[Which told him nothing. But at least he wasn't the only one who didn't have a lot of it, whatever it was!]

text: from Dust

[mithrarin]

Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. It... happens. It comes with the territory. It's just one more thing we have to deal with as shinki.

[ittenbari]

I think I'm good. I'm fine with not remembering any more stuff.

[mithrarin]

Whether you do or you don't... it's not up to you. All you can do is prepare yourself.

[ittenbari]

I'd like it if I could at least choose stuff, you know.

Like, I'm sure there's stuff I don't want to remember.

Seriously, I'm fine with just this.

[mithrarin]

All I can say is that these memories... they're part of you, they've shaped you, whether or not you actually remember them. Not remembering them doesn't mean they never happened.

text

[medicinemaster]

[Yaone should say something, she feels. This is her shinki, after all. Though with what she's been told about needing to be careful regarding the subject of memory, she's wary of simply charging into the conversation without being certain of just what he's recalled.

Finally, she settles on a simple inquiry.]

Is something the matter, Sakon?

[ittenbari]

I'm fine!

I mean

I'll be fine!

Everything's fine here!

[Don't panic and drop your phone, Sakon.]

[medicinemaster]

Are you certain?
I cannot understand exactly what it is like but if something is troubling you, you are welcome to approach me at home.
I would be glad to listen.

[Dokugakuji had suggested taking care of their own, including their shinki, and Yaone agrees that it is the best course of action until a path back to Lord Kougaiji can be found. She may not be capable of much in her present position but listening is one thing she can do well.]

[ittenbari]

Yeah, I kinda lied when I said it was fine.

It's

I dunno

Kinda awkward to talk about, though. Some parts of it I don't wanna think about at all.

[medicinemaster]

[It feels a little strange to be texting someone whose bedroom is on the other side of a somewhat small temple but Yaone's reluctant to intrude with a physical knock on his door. So instead she continues to text for now. However, if Sakon chooses to seek her out, he'll find her reclining on a giant purple, beanbag-like cushion in the living room.]

You can talk to me about whatever you wish.
I am in the living room if you would like to come.
I can make us tea if you like.

text

[battered]

i thhink so yeah
its kind of weird right? like idont know if its better that i know this so maybe its diferent from what you mean
but learning some stuff about yurself canbe really confusing

[ittenbari]

Yeah, really.

Like, I wanna say I'm happy but it seems like something I shouldn't say I'm happy about.

[battered]

yeah?
it sucks that it can feeel so complicated
butif it makes you happy thats good right? even if you dont tell anyone thhat

[ittenbari]

Maybe, maybe not.

Like I said, it's complicated.

And I kinda got

I don't know

no direction for all of it to go.

Text; from Kairi

[pure_radiantics]

Ah... that sort of thing... I do know what you're talking about. It kind of doesn't matter here, now that we're shinki like this, but it feels weird to not think about it more. There's no one who can answer my questions either.

I hope things improve for you.