[Video] When some doors close

[pure_radiantics]

From: Kairi
Date: March 2

[ Kairi sits in the shade of a tree with the Soulless Shinki temple behind her. ]

I've given it a lot of thought... and I want to ask if there are any gods out there that don't have any shinki right now.

[ She takes another deep breath. ]

I can't talk about it too much right now, but after losing my goddess, the first person I would have gone to... he's gone as well. I spent a long time weighing my options the last time this happened - maybe too long. I want to try to be decisive this time.

The first few months I was here, I hardly had a day I wasn't busy helping my god with his prayers or training with the other shinki at my temple. I miss that activity and those bonds, but I miss the impact I made in the lives of people on the Near Shore more. I'm a shinki so I can't do that as well on my own as with a god who will see me as a partner.

If there's a god who thinks that we could work well together, I'd be happy to talk with you some more.

Comments

[trustheart]

You're telling me. I kinda envy you shinki, honestly. Yeah, but is someone really a partner if they're made for someone else? I... I don't want to get into too many personal details, but I was captured and forced to work when I was a child. It feels too much like I'm making them my slave. I can't accept it.

[pure_radiantics]

[ Kairi puts her hands over her mouth at the revelation from a stranger. ]

I'm very sorry to hear that about your childhood, Chris. If that's true, though, I hope you won't envy us shinki too much. There's at least one boy here even younger than me - less than 8 I'm sure - who is expected to act with more individuality than the Souless Shinki are. There's a goddess his age too. It's... it doesn't sit well with me either. We're all doing the best we can to make sure that gods don't treat shinki poorly. I think that's why shinki make friends with each other easier than with gods.

[trustheart]

Don't take it too seriously. I have a lot of memories I'd like to hold onto. ... And you don't have to worry about any of that from me, alright? I have a temper, and I'll admit to it, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm no better or worse than any of you. I wanna be partners with someone, not their master.

[pure_radiantics]

[ Kairi has to think about that for a bit, to make sure she understood Chris correctly. She wonders if Davesprite would have had an easier time of it. ]

It's easy for you to say so, but unfortunately we have had instances of shinki abuse - for instance, naming against the shinki's will. So we always have to be cautious when evaluating new gods.

[trustheart]

... Yeah. In that case, I don't blame you for being cautious. I know I have to prove myself to you before anyone can trust me by default.

[pure_radiantics]

I'm really glad you feel that way!

Hmm... how about we try this. What would you like to do to try and prove yourself to me?

[trustheart]

It shouldn't be about proving myself to you. It implies I want to get something out of it instead of just trying to be a better person.

But. I already think I need to give my shinki more of a chance than I have been. Our being brought together isn't his fault, and he doesn't deserve to be ignored just because of the situation Heaven put us into.

[pure_radiantics]

I was just using your words, sorry. [ She says it matter of factly, just to clear that up as quickly as she can. ]

That's a good way to think about it, though. Gods also have an advantage where they can feel the emotions from their shinki, or so I've been told.

[ By her late... ex? No. Former? No... Now-gone boyfriend, Forrest. It was why he insisted on not naming her, because then he'd feel how she was feeling, but she wouldn't get the same benefit. ]

[trustheart]

... You're right. That's on me, don't worry.

And yeah, I heard that. I guess the responsible thing to do with that would be to use it to be more receptive to their needs.

[She thinks for a moment. Is that why she's felt extra lonely? She'd assumed it was because she'd missed Tsubasa, Hibiki, and the others, but if her shinki had felt the same way...]

[pure_radiantics]

[ She nods back. ]

That's the best thing you can do, I think. That and not go looking for our feelings unless it's an... intense feeling, I guess. Bad or good, I'm sure you can't ignore that.

[trustheart]

No, I guess I can't. But you're right, I shouldn't go looking unless it seems like something big and important. People're still entitled to her privacy after all.

[Considering how protective she is of her's, it's only fair.]

[pure_radiantics]

It's sweet of you to think that, but I think most shinki have given up any expectations of full privacy - from our gods, at least. And it's no good for us to remain godless for too long either. So it's just something we have to learn to live with. That's why it's so important that the partnership is a good one.

[trustheart]

Well, yeah. I guess that's true. But I meant, like, trying too hard or forcing it when it's not warranted. I already know some of it can't be helped, just because of the way this is all set up.

[pure_radiantics]

Oh, yeah! Yeah of course not forcing it helps a whole lot.

[trustheart]

I can be pretty brusque with people. I either bottle up my emotions or shout them at people, so... I'm gonna have to do my best to reign that in, if there's ever problems. But I'll just have to do my best.

[pure_radiantics]

Aww, don't be so hard on yourself - we all have things like that we can work on! It's the kind of thing that partners can help with too!

[trustheart]

Heh. I dunno, the guy they put me with seems kind of dry.

But maybe I'm meant to help him too. Even if soulless shinki are... limited, and stuff.

[pure_radiantics]

Oh! You have a soulless shinki. Well that explains some things. I've worked with them a lot. It's hard to explain over text like this. When I see you in person we could talk a bit more about it, though!

[trustheart]

Oh yeah. Sorry if I wasn't clear enough about that.

But sure. We'll see what happens.

[pure_radiantics]

No need to apologize to me! It's understandable.

[trustheart]

Fair enough.

Anything else you might be able to tell me about soulless shinki would be helpful? if you know anything else, I mean.

[pure_radiantics]

Oh plenty! I have a Soulless shinki at my temple - I mean, the temple where I stay. But it's easier to explain in person, that's all I meant.

[trustheart]

Ohh. I can probably visit sometime in the next few days, then.

[pure_radiantics]

I look forward to it!

[ OOC: Have a log you can use! ]