Heaven's BBS | Anonymous | Text

[spes_phthisica]

so uh
i have seen certain kinds of relationships between gods and shinki argued for or against and all that
but this isnt really about that

what i want to know is more
what are you supposed to do as a shinki if you cant help having certain feelings for your god
and you KNOW that your god knows about this?

i mean its hard to avoid if you keep stinging your god every time you look at them in a certain way
right???

my god doesnt seem angry about it or anything
actually they seem to think its fun
and you think they could show a bit of compassion and wear a bit more clothes around the temple but nooooo

im just wondering what im supposed to do about this
its getting embarrassing :(

Comments

Anon

[koukai_kirai]

No need to feel guilty if they're having fun showing off.

R U D E

[spes_phthisica]

i guess...
i mean it really seems like theyre just doing it to tease me by now
but that doesnt mean that my reaction is any less embarrassing >_

he loves you though

[koukai_kirai]

Is it really something to be embarrassed about? It happens to most people sooner or later. It's natural, after all.

from the rudeness of his heart

[spes_phthisica]

but it is usually something private unless you decide to share those feelings right
i mean usually you dont just repeatedly shout IM ATTRACTED TO YOU at someone whenever you feel it

also hes my god
so hes not just anybody

[koukai_kirai]

All feelings are, if you're going to put it that way.

God or not, should you let that get in the way of what you want?

[spes_phthisica]

well yes
but some feelings are more private than others
and honestly the other feelings that come with attraction are even more so right

what he wants is more important

[koukai_kirai]

If he's teasing you about those sorts of feelings, and obviously knows about them, then the logical conclusion is that he's either willing to entertain them or being a complete bastard.

[spes_phthisica]

well when you put it like that
i mean i am sure he would never be callous with me
that isnt at all the kind of man he is

[koukai_kirai]

In that case, the most sensible thing to presume is that he's interested on at least some level. I wouldn't hold back, if I were you.

[spes_phthisica]

its somehow hard to imagine this
not because i think he would play with my feelings
but because he is
well him
and im just his shinki

[koukai_kirai]

Why should being his shinki stop you?

[spes_phthisica]

i know he wouldnt like me thinking this
but its hard not to remember that hes a god
and to feel silly about
imagining myself worthy i guess

i probably would never tell him this though
im almost afraid it would hurt his feelings

[koukai_kirai]

Being a shinki doesn't mean you're worth any less, deserving of any less, or capable of any less than someone who happened to end up as a god. Don't let the thought that it does keep you away from something that's worth going after.

[spes_phthisica]

haha i imagine he would say the same thing
that does make me look a bit silly huh

[Yes, Souji. More than you know.]

[koukai_kirai]

People need to hear it sometimes. Shinki in particular, I'd imagine.

[spes_phthisica]

well in some ways we ARE less significant
we are servants and not masters after all

but even a servant has a right to try to find happiness

[koukai_kirai]

Who's a servant and who's a master is little more than a matter of luck. Remember that.

There's little enough happiness in the world without letting your station in life hold the things you want out of your reach.

[spes_phthisica]

i do agree that one should not accept ones lot if one is not suited to it
or limit oneself because of it
but i do not mind saying that i am well suited to serve and that this lot in life gives me happiness :)

[koukai_kirai]

Everyone serves someone, in the end. As long as serving that person motivates you to climb higher, and doesn't keep you trapped beneath your potential.

[spes_phthisica]

i am lucky to serve someone like that :3
and i guess even gods serve the heavens
although they cant do that much if they find themselves limited by them huh

[koukai_kirai]

The Heavens, or their followers, or even their shinki. Anyone who thinks they serve no one is probably lying to themselves, though.

[spes_phthisica]

i imagine the best leaders are the ones that see themselves as servants of those they lead
then they truly know what their purpose is

haha i think
but i wouldnt really know

[koukai_kirai]

The only types of people who are drawn to leadership are the ones who do it for those they lead, and ones who do it for themselves. Only one of those types is ever worth following.