thefarshore | Heaven's BBS

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Heaven's BBS | video;

From: Metis
Date: October 29

[It is after a great deal of trial and error that a video feed pops up on the network. Zelda's grasp on modern technology is still limited at best, but this is apparently important enough to try.]

Excuse me, but would anyone happen to know what this is for?

["This" being a very summer-y hawaiian shirt currently laid out upon what appears to be her dining room table. And there will be no reprieve from it's tourist-y glow for anyone wanting it; the Princess of Hyrule does not know you can flip the camera around on a phone, so the feed is sticking right where it is on the garment as she speaks.]

It was at my temple steps this morning, but without any notes outside of being addressed to me. I am... not certain what to make of it, honestly.

[To say the least.]

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[That's fair, really. Zelda might think it funny too if she wasn't too busy being baffled.]

I... think I might. Though if my suspicion is correct, then I should hope it was meant as some sort of joke rather than a slight against me.

[Or worse: a genuine gift she is actually meant to wear out in public.]

A joke, huh?

[ Sending someone an ugly shirt as a joke? She'll have to remember that. ]

So how are you gonna retaliate?

[And somehow Zelda felt like she has unleashed something terrible upon the far shore--]

Hmm... I admit I have not thought that far ahead yet. [And her sense of humor is kind of... nonexistent, so.] Do you have a suggestion?

[You seem very feisty, Mordred, surely you have something already rattling in that brain of yours.]

[ She'll send ugly shirts to everyone eventually and frame Caster for it. ]

Huh, you want to know what I'd do?

[ Mordred takes a moment to think about it. You're not exactly consulting the gold standard when it comes to jokes Zelda (more like a five-year-old really) but... ]

Hmm... Well if you know who sent you the shirt maybe you could send them a much nicer one— but line the inside with itching powder! That way when they put it on...

[ She makes a scratching gesture with her hands to illustrate the result. ]

[HER STANDARDS AREN'T VERY HIGH TO BEGIN WITH... judging by the fact that Mordred's pantomime does earn a bit of a quiet giggle from the princess.]

My! That sounds like something I would come up with to prank the guards when I was girl. Though it would get the point across very effectively, I must admit.

They'd definitely never send you another ugly shirt, that's for sure!

[ If Zelda were to go through with the prank and Mordred discovered that Caster was the victim she'd likely die from laughter.

She seems quite pleased with herself, smiling broadly at Zelda's giggle. ]

Why'd you have guards as a kid? You some kind of big shot?

[ Or she could have just been a rowdy kid but Mordred doesn't get that vibe from Zelda. ]

[There's still a bit of a smile in her voice, but Zelda sobers somewhat at that question.]

I suppose that is not wholly inaccurate to say. Indeed, I am Princess Zelda of the Kingdom of Hyrule. It is pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Whoa, a real fancy-pants, huh? But I've never heard of a Hyrule before.

[ At least from the knowledge of Earth kingdoms that she has. Oh, right she should probably introduce herself too. Manners— what are they?]

I'm Saber. Nice to meet you too, I guess.

[ Just Saber— no special title that she's aware of. Maybe she should try "Number One Shinki of Shinju" in the future? ]

So tell me something, do Princesses have some sort of special deal with the higher-ups to become goddesses or something? 'Cause you aren't the first God-Princess I've met.

[Saber. Another one? How curious, but not something she can very well ask about right now. Something to contemplate later.]

You are not the only one; Hyrule does not exist in this world, and in this place I seem to be its sole representative. Not that I am complaining, mind you.

[Ganondorf's brief appearance as a shinki probably shortened her lifespan by five years on it's own. It's a little lonely, but she is quite content with knowing the rest of her people remain with their homeland.]

But if there is a "special deal" as you theorize, I cannot say I have been told of it. Perhaps whoever is behind placing us into our positions thinks our responsibility to our people makes us well suited for godhood in their eyes. Regardless, it is not a position I would have taken up willingly had I been asked.

[ It's only a matter of time until there are enough Sabers to conquer the Heavens. Or just, y'know, eat Caster out of a home. ]

A kingdom that doesn't exist and that only you know about? I don't have to tell you how that sounds, right?

[ Mordred's just teasing; she can spot nobility from a mile away, even if she isn't sure why that is. Zelda's reluctance to be a god is curious though. ]

Then you'd be a fool. Why would you ever choose to be a shinki instead of a god?

[ Probably not what the princess meant. But as far as Mordred knows there are only two options: you can be a shinki or a god. And of course, being a shinki, she doesn't understand that there's anything aside from existing as one of those two things. ]

[Dear Amaterasu, please be mindful of any rocket ships crash landing on the near shore whose occupant is a mysterious heroine that yells SEIBAAAA a lot, thank you.]

Perhaps you do; I have yet to meet any who doubt my claim, or if I have, they have remained quiet about it.

[Though it is a good point, even in jest. Hyrule's existence is something as factual as the sky being blue, she has always been self-assured in introducing herself as its princess, and everyone thus far has taken it in stride. But what if someone in the future doesn't? Something else to think about later.

Her tone takes a turn for the more serious with Mordred's real question, though. Total memory loss continues to be a troublesome thing, doesn't it.]

My choice is to be a princess, first and foremost. My duty to my people before all else, and that I have been taken from them frustrates me to no end, even if the role I have been placed in is theoretically one of greater privilege and power.

[ Someone with Father's face arriving and trying to attack her? She would be thrilled.

Mordred grins and points at the screen. ]

See, saying stuff like that makes me believe you're the real deal and not just a crazy pointy-eared girl calling herself the princess of an imaginary kingdom!

[ Although something odd does stand out to her. ]

So you were a mortal princess before you were a god-princess, huh? So what happened, did they just pluck you up one day and say "You're a goddess now too"?

[ Wait, does it really work that way? After all, Mordred's met a goddess who died first and then got the job, just like shinki. ]

Or did you have to bite it first?

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